Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Hairassment
Last night I went for a much-needed haircut (I was beginning to have a whole Beatles meet Steve Urkel look there) and I ended up with a lot more awkwardness that you generally expect from any half-hour transaction. To begin with, there was the issue of awkward small talk with the stylist. Perhaps it makes me a bad person, but I don’t really believe that the ability to wield a pair of scissors entitles you to know all the intimate details of my life. My unwillingness to open up proved to be no problem, however, as the lady cutting my hair was more than able to fill the time with 1) stories of her various run-ins with the law, 2) her unusual views on race relations, and 3) the various unsatisfactory aspects of her ex-husband. I had to wonder how “hmmmm” and “yeah” sounded like “please, tell me more.”
The most awkward point, however, had to be the full-on scalp massage she gave me at the end of the haircut. Yes, it sounds dirty, and it made me feel dirty, although also awesome. She just commanded me to close my eyes and went at it. People were staring. Of course, I gave her a huge tip and I’d do it all again, but next time, it would be nice to at least be asked first...
Last night I went for a much-needed haircut (I was beginning to have a whole Beatles meet Steve Urkel look there) and I ended up with a lot more awkwardness that you generally expect from any half-hour transaction. To begin with, there was the issue of awkward small talk with the stylist. Perhaps it makes me a bad person, but I don’t really believe that the ability to wield a pair of scissors entitles you to know all the intimate details of my life. My unwillingness to open up proved to be no problem, however, as the lady cutting my hair was more than able to fill the time with 1) stories of her various run-ins with the law, 2) her unusual views on race relations, and 3) the various unsatisfactory aspects of her ex-husband. I had to wonder how “hmmmm” and “yeah” sounded like “please, tell me more.”
The most awkward point, however, had to be the full-on scalp massage she gave me at the end of the haircut. Yes, it sounds dirty, and it made me feel dirty, although also awesome. She just commanded me to close my eyes and went at it. People were staring. Of course, I gave her a huge tip and I’d do it all again, but next time, it would be nice to at least be asked first...
