the ocean

Ian and I went to Aire Ancient Baths on Friday night. It was our little way of honoring St. Patrick's Day by completely ignoring it, I guess. Not as effective as that time we went to Spain for it, but still a pretty low green beer and vomit quotient.

The baths were pretty nice, I have to say. They have one salt water bath that is designed for floating and they say is at the same consistency as the Dead Sea, which I guess is supposed to turn me on or something. They also have a super hot one, one with a lot of jets, and one at body temperature, which ended up feeling weirdly comfortable, like I was being hugged by Michelle Obama or something. Then there was the indoor/outdoor one, which had a waterfall and was amazing, except after dark it was filled with couples making out, which it totally against the rules but we're not narcs so whatever. Also there were cold plunge pools all over, though I only got in one and only as far as my ankles. I mean, if I want to be cold, I can just go outside; it's March in Chicago.

The had steam rooms, too, including one that was lavender-infused. I tend to only make it like five minutes in a steam room before I realize I'm kind of just sitting there sweating, though. 

And the massage was good. Not the best I've ever had, but not painful and not super chatty, which are both issues I've experienced in the past. Plus, Ian and I were in the same room, so I felt I had a witness if the massage therapist decided to kill me.

Anyway, we did a thing. It was good. I'm not feeling super motivated to do another thing any time soon, but I probably will, as there tend to be things to do. Such is life, until it isn't.

As a serious journalist, I obviously have to say something about the biggest news of the year, which is of course Tom Sandoval cheating on Ariana Madix with Raquel Leviss. I'll admit that I had stopped watching Vanderpump Rules after they fired all the racists, simply because that next season boring. I made it like three episodes in to them playing Pickleball and screaming at each other about Coachella before giving up. But I was definitely an early adopter on hating Sandoval, and I never understood Raquel's reason for being, so this scandal is ready made for me. Also, I enjoy Ariana, even if I do have some questions about what's been going on with her face recently. So I'm here for this.

Of course, I don't mean that literally, yet. We are so behind on television that we need to catch up on like six other shows before we even think about Vanderpump. (Lately we've been, like, venturing out into the actual world and stuff, unaccountably.) Although have seen a few of the Oscar movies now! Helpful tip: if you like watching people vomiting and pooping, Triangle of Sadness is it for you. 

Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that I am aware of this important and developing story. If Schaena Shay (of Marina del Ray) pops by to give me an exclusive, I'll be sure to report out.