Thursday, June 25, 2026
Now What?
After squeezing a month of content out of a nine-day trip, I'm struggling a bit to figure out where to go next here. Somehow I fear that the saga of the dental work to install my new crown will not prove as compelling as our journeys across Spain. (Although there was a suspected high rise fire involved, to be fair.) But that's kind of why we like vacations, isn't it? They are a break from the routine, in ways both good and bad. And anyone who has encountered a toilet-seat-less train station bathroom in Cordoba can vouch for me on the latter.
Anyway, I am squarely back in the routine now, and I guess I should just feel fortunate that I like my routine just fine. I'm working, reading in the hammock and getting slightly sunburned, getting wine drunk with friends, taking a Zumba class about which I have very complex feelings, and so on. We had our masonry power washed, which brought me the greatest OCD delight you can possibly imagine. We commissioned a painting for our living room, which is probably the bougiest sentence I have ever written. But it is a sentence, which means that I have found something to write about!
Honestly, any readers I have at this point certainly understand that my life is hardly the stuff of Tom Clancy novels. Not even the TV versions with Jim from The Office.
Wednesday, June 17, 2026
Mallorcan Madness
We ended our trip with a friend's wedding in Mallorca. (This was planned; they didn't just decide to get married to make our vacation memorable.)
It's an island, is really what it is. Here we are at the welcome dinner down on the sea. Not the worst.
The resort was super classy, right down to $1000 hair driers and free soft drinks in the minibar. I felt very White Lotusy, but without the incest. (There was a murder.)
The resort even had an art gallery. There was a painting with tigers that seemed to have lasers shooting out of them. Finally, art that is about something.
Oh, and they had goats, but there was a lot of red tape surrounding them.
This cool little church was on the hill near the resort. Pretty sure my holiness level increased dramatically as a result of this trip.
There were cannons outside the cool little church for some reason? Gonna have to study up on the battle of Mallorca.
Turns out the stations of the cross make a decent decorative element.
The bride! Not the Maggie Gyllenhaal feature. Or so I assume. Like everyone else, I did not see it.
There were glittery masks at the reception, perhaps because of the bride's love of Phantom of the Opera. That is not a joke, she actually does love Phantom, though I am sure she does not view it as a model of stable relationships.
I'm just real proud of my camerawork here. Night photography and everything!
Thursday, June 11, 2026
The Rain in Spain
Actually, it didn't rain while we were in Granada, although it did pretty much everywhere else we went in Spain.
The Alhambra. And us. And thousands of other tourists with no spatial awareness. It was meant to be.
The builders of the Alhambra knew how to do amazing things with water. Basically a historical version of the Great Wolf Lodge.
Nice views. Although I'm sure somewhere someone has written a shitty Yelp review about them.
I know, I'm obsessed with ceilings. They have to be a bitch to keep clean, though, don't you think?
This was a bathhouse. Not the modern day kind with the fucking. Or so I assume.
There was a market with lots of cute little shops and stalls. I always think photos of lamps like this are going to look really cool and then everything's just kind of hanging there. Deal with it.
So I thought the Inquisition Museum was going to be like a solemn national reckoning with the abuses of the era, but no, just a lot of torture devices. This one was probably the least awful, if you can believe it.
Also from the Inquisition Museum, and I have no idea what is supposed to be going on here. Art can be complex like that.
Speaking of complex art. Whatever you feel when you look at this, it is sick and wrong.
It seemed like Granada was always uphill and never downhill, except for this moment, basically. Sorry to the lady whose power walk I inadvertently immortalized here.
Friday, June 05, 2026
Viva Espana
After Seville, we went to Cordoba, where we continued a tradition of our drivers aggressively plowing through pedestrian traffic. No injuries that I am aware of.
The Mezquita is a really incredible place that I can't adequately convey in words, or even pictures for that matter. So yeah, I'm pretty much useless.
It started as a mosque and not a bad one at that, though admittedly I've not met a wide range.
I mean, come on. They just don't make ceilings like that any more. I know because I asked. Our contractor was flummoxed to say the least.
Then shit got weird when they decided to put a cathedral right down in the middle of the mosque. And you thought Glee invented terrible mashups.
Here's an exterior shot for all you completists. Yes, my photography is worthy of praise.
And then there are Roman ruins. Why did the Romans ruin everything? The answer is lost to history.
Also a Roman bridge, which our guidebook said was "badly restored," whatever that means, and this gate, which somehow avoided judgment.
There's a plaza that looks suspiciously like the Plaza Mayor in Madrid, but I guess there hasn't been any legal action about that to date. Call me. (Don't.)
I'm a sucker for city walls. I blame Sid Meier's Civilization.
