the ocean

As a serious journalist, I obviously have to say something about the biggest news of the year, which is of course Tom Sandoval cheating on Ariana Madix with Raquel Leviss. I'll admit that I had stopped watching Vanderpump Rules after they fired all the racists, simply because that next season boring. I made it like three episodes in to them playing Pickleball and screaming at each other about Coachella before giving up. But I was definitely an early adopter on hating Sandoval, and I never understood Raquel's reason for being, so this scandal is ready made for me. Also, I enjoy Ariana, even if I do have some questions about what's been going on with her face recently. So I'm here for this.

Of course, I don't mean that literally, yet. We are so behind on television that we need to catch up on like six other shows before we even think about Vanderpump. (Lately we've been, like, venturing out into the actual world and stuff, unaccountably.) Although have seen a few of the Oscar movies now! Helpful tip: if you like watching people vomiting and pooping, Triangle of Sadness is it for you. 

Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that I am aware of this important and developing story. If Schaena Shay (of Marina del Ray) pops by to give me an exclusive, I'll be sure to report out.