Friday, March 19, 2004
Things that are Fun
1. Going out to eat with my sister and having the waiter assume we are on a date, simply because we look about as similar as the siblings on Diff’rent Strokes.
2. Adding to my sister’s discomfort with the above situation by insisting on holding her hand, gazing deeply into her eyes, and dramatically cutting off the conversation whenever the waiter comes nearby.
3. Being smacked in a restaurant.
4. Throwing up in a restaurant. This actually happened to me my sophomore year of college, when I was on an actual date (read: not with my sister) at Cracker Barrel. Come to think of it, the fact that I was on a date at Cracker Barrel is enough fun in and of itself.
5. Duck Hunt, on the original Nintendo. You may have to blow on the cartridge for twenty minutes to get it to work, but it will change your life.
6. Telling people that things will “change their lives.” Because, of course, they’ve so horribly botched their lives to this point that they need whatever change Duck Hunt can bring them.
7. The Macarena. Especially now that all the hype has died down. People forgot for a minute there that it was supposed to be about the dancing.
8. Christ. Well, I don’t know if he was “fun” per se, but it can’t hurt to try to get in good with the guy. And he did turn water into wine, which could be handy at parties.
9. Writing fake letters to Ann Landers. Really dirty fake letters, signed “Desperate in Dallas.”
10. Sleeping. No matter how much life changes, unconsciousness will always be fun.
1. Going out to eat with my sister and having the waiter assume we are on a date, simply because we look about as similar as the siblings on Diff’rent Strokes.
2. Adding to my sister’s discomfort with the above situation by insisting on holding her hand, gazing deeply into her eyes, and dramatically cutting off the conversation whenever the waiter comes nearby.
3. Being smacked in a restaurant.
4. Throwing up in a restaurant. This actually happened to me my sophomore year of college, when I was on an actual date (read: not with my sister) at Cracker Barrel. Come to think of it, the fact that I was on a date at Cracker Barrel is enough fun in and of itself.
5. Duck Hunt, on the original Nintendo. You may have to blow on the cartridge for twenty minutes to get it to work, but it will change your life.
6. Telling people that things will “change their lives.” Because, of course, they’ve so horribly botched their lives to this point that they need whatever change Duck Hunt can bring them.
7. The Macarena. Especially now that all the hype has died down. People forgot for a minute there that it was supposed to be about the dancing.
8. Christ. Well, I don’t know if he was “fun” per se, but it can’t hurt to try to get in good with the guy. And he did turn water into wine, which could be handy at parties.
9. Writing fake letters to Ann Landers. Really dirty fake letters, signed “Desperate in Dallas.”
10. Sleeping. No matter how much life changes, unconsciousness will always be fun.
