Monday, March 01, 2004
Top Dog
So Friday night I slept with two hot bitches. Specifically, my friend's golden retrievers, who I agreed to take care of this past weekend. As it turns out, I am amazing at dog sitting, adding to the list of talents I have that probably aren't actual talents, along with identifying celebrity voiceovers on commercials and guessing when people's relationships will end. Of course, I define dog sitting as a success if it doesn't end in death, catastrophic destruction of property, or chronic incontinence. Since I'm back into life with Depends, I declare myself an A-1 dogsitter.
Another hidden talent? Predicting the Oscars. I went 7 for 8 in the top categories, taking home a full $7 in our office Oscar pool, which I fervently promise not to spend all in one place. It didn't really take a genius to predict that Peter Jackson would spend a lot of time on stage, but I wish someone would have predicted him a shower and shave. Thank God the technology isn't there for Smell-O-Vision yet.
So Friday night I slept with two hot bitches. Specifically, my friend's golden retrievers, who I agreed to take care of this past weekend. As it turns out, I am amazing at dog sitting, adding to the list of talents I have that probably aren't actual talents, along with identifying celebrity voiceovers on commercials and guessing when people's relationships will end. Of course, I define dog sitting as a success if it doesn't end in death, catastrophic destruction of property, or chronic incontinence. Since I'm back into life with Depends, I declare myself an A-1 dogsitter.
Another hidden talent? Predicting the Oscars. I went 7 for 8 in the top categories, taking home a full $7 in our office Oscar pool, which I fervently promise not to spend all in one place. It didn't really take a genius to predict that Peter Jackson would spend a lot of time on stage, but I wish someone would have predicted him a shower and shave. Thank God the technology isn't there for Smell-O-Vision yet.
