Wednesday, April 07, 2004
The Bright Side
Work has taken on an absurd and unaccustomed importance in my life recently, which fills me with a certain amount of murderous rage. It is never fun to be in your office building when the lights automatically shut off because even the night janitor has left for the day. In the interests of not dying of an aneurism at 26, however, I have decided to focus on the positive aspects of this situation:
1. Working late saves money by reducing expenditures on things like eating, drinking, and experiencing actual human contact.
2. Leaving work after dark makes being accosted by panhandlers far more intimate.
3. Tuesdays at the office are “ladies’ nights.”
4. Slow descent into madness much less embarrassing without witnesses to the random swearing and frenzied hair pulling.
5. No-waiting guarantee at the water cooler.
See, I am focused and ready for an amazing week!
Work has taken on an absurd and unaccustomed importance in my life recently, which fills me with a certain amount of murderous rage. It is never fun to be in your office building when the lights automatically shut off because even the night janitor has left for the day. In the interests of not dying of an aneurism at 26, however, I have decided to focus on the positive aspects of this situation:
1. Working late saves money by reducing expenditures on things like eating, drinking, and experiencing actual human contact.
2. Leaving work after dark makes being accosted by panhandlers far more intimate.
3. Tuesdays at the office are “ladies’ nights.”
4. Slow descent into madness much less embarrassing without witnesses to the random swearing and frenzied hair pulling.
5. No-waiting guarantee at the water cooler.
See, I am focused and ready for an amazing week!
