Wednesday, April 21, 2004
I Suck
I was going through some of my old writing last night, which is always a mistake. Oh sure, I had some great laughs about the high school paper on Things Fall Apart with a sleep-deprived introduction discussing “famous TV fathers,” (for you see, the paper was about the representations of fatherhood in the novel), and I truly enjoyed revisiting my International Business report (complete with Powerpoint slides!) on “Egypt, the Investment Jewel of the Nile.” But this trip down memory lane also made me realize that I have subsequently become a much worse person, which I could have done without. For example:
1. I used to have passionate interests. Besides food and porn. Okay, so I was (and am) a huge nerd, but damned if I wasn’t actually excited about everything from contemporary rhetorical theory to expressionist-era art when I was in college.
2. I was nicer. Hell, I volunteered at a kindergarten classroom for four years and I loved it. Not Michael-Jackson-level loved it, but I designed something like fifty different bulletin boards, for chrissake! I treated people well, too, although I still couldn’t resist the temptation to come up with funny-but-sometimes-cruel nicknames for people.
3. I had more fun. Maybe that one’s just a function of age. But it seems like I never slept back then. And I went roller skating a lot more, drunk or otherwise. Sometimes in costumes, apparently.
So yeah, in these and many more ways, I am an ass. But isn’t recognizing that half the battle? I’m trying to figure out what to do about this; so far I’ve only decided I should go to more concerts and museums. In the event that that somehow fails to elevate my soul, your suggestions are welcome.
I was going through some of my old writing last night, which is always a mistake. Oh sure, I had some great laughs about the high school paper on Things Fall Apart with a sleep-deprived introduction discussing “famous TV fathers,” (for you see, the paper was about the representations of fatherhood in the novel), and I truly enjoyed revisiting my International Business report (complete with Powerpoint slides!) on “Egypt, the Investment Jewel of the Nile.” But this trip down memory lane also made me realize that I have subsequently become a much worse person, which I could have done without. For example:
1. I used to have passionate interests. Besides food and porn. Okay, so I was (and am) a huge nerd, but damned if I wasn’t actually excited about everything from contemporary rhetorical theory to expressionist-era art when I was in college.
2. I was nicer. Hell, I volunteered at a kindergarten classroom for four years and I loved it. Not Michael-Jackson-level loved it, but I designed something like fifty different bulletin boards, for chrissake! I treated people well, too, although I still couldn’t resist the temptation to come up with funny-but-sometimes-cruel nicknames for people.
3. I had more fun. Maybe that one’s just a function of age. But it seems like I never slept back then. And I went roller skating a lot more, drunk or otherwise. Sometimes in costumes, apparently.
So yeah, in these and many more ways, I am an ass. But isn’t recognizing that half the battle? I’m trying to figure out what to do about this; so far I’ve only decided I should go to more concerts and museums. In the event that that somehow fails to elevate my soul, your suggestions are welcome.
