Thursday, April 01, 2004
Pity the Fool
Happy April Fool’s Day! No pranks here, yet. My coworker and I were going to tell our boss that we’d been secretly dating for several months, but we decided that that was more likely to lead to firing than to merriment and aborted the plan. We also considered turning in fake memos that were truly poorly drafted, but I worried that 1) they might not be able to tell the difference from my regular work and 2) that was a really, really nerdy plan. Of course, my “nerd” instincts are clearly way off, as I have both served as a historically-costumed museum tour guide and been named a top mathlete in my relatively short life, but those are stories for another time, hopefully never.
I am reminded today, however, of my roommate’s Great April Fool’s Prank of 2000. The poor soul had decided to rig the sprayer on our sink so that when I turned on the faucet I would get sprayed in the face with cold water, hilarity no doubt hypothetically ensuing. What he did not realize, however, was that when I went to turn on the faucet I would be holding an enormous knife. Which I would then plunge into my left index finger as I recoiled from the spray. So instead of madcap hijinks he got a free trip to the hospital, a new appreciation for the range of swear words in the English language, and a whole lot of blood all over his kitchen, Carrie-style. Sometimes, I guess, when you play a prank, it ends up being on yourself.
Happy April Fool’s Day! No pranks here, yet. My coworker and I were going to tell our boss that we’d been secretly dating for several months, but we decided that that was more likely to lead to firing than to merriment and aborted the plan. We also considered turning in fake memos that were truly poorly drafted, but I worried that 1) they might not be able to tell the difference from my regular work and 2) that was a really, really nerdy plan. Of course, my “nerd” instincts are clearly way off, as I have both served as a historically-costumed museum tour guide and been named a top mathlete in my relatively short life, but those are stories for another time, hopefully never.
I am reminded today, however, of my roommate’s Great April Fool’s Prank of 2000. The poor soul had decided to rig the sprayer on our sink so that when I turned on the faucet I would get sprayed in the face with cold water, hilarity no doubt hypothetically ensuing. What he did not realize, however, was that when I went to turn on the faucet I would be holding an enormous knife. Which I would then plunge into my left index finger as I recoiled from the spray. So instead of madcap hijinks he got a free trip to the hospital, a new appreciation for the range of swear words in the English language, and a whole lot of blood all over his kitchen, Carrie-style. Sometimes, I guess, when you play a prank, it ends up being on yourself.
