Friday, May 07, 2004
Insert "Friends"-Related Pun Here
The corpse of Friends isn’t even cold yet, and after several days of strategic scavenging in Marta Kaufman’s trash, I’ve managed to get an exclusive look at some long-lost Friends plotlines. As you can probably guess, after ten years of making television magic, there were a lot of great ideas that just didn’t quite fit into the 22 amazing minutes we saw each week. Of course, if you believe what you read in sexual harassment lawsuits, some of those great ideas involved Joey becoming a serial rapist, but hey, who can question the creative process? So grab up these last few crumbs from the Friends feast while it lasts, kids, and don’t forget to start completely loving Crossing Jordan, because NBC’s got to get the cash to feed the peacock somehow:
- Rachel befriends an eating-disorder-plagued Korean gymnast named Amy
- Monica and Phoebe trade jobs for the day; madcap mayhem ensues
- Ross reveals the horrifying secret behind his hair
- Chandler enjoys a ludicrous character shift
- Joey is murdered (possible Law & Order crossover)
- Monica eats something
- Marta Kaufman sleeps on a huge pile of money
- Joey & Chandler visit a rocking chair factory
- Ross realizes he has a child; temporarily stops being so creepy
- Rachel goes to work for Kathie Lee Casuals, with hilarious results (guest starring Kelly Ripa)
- Phoebe starts taking independent film work to build credibility as an actress
- Everyone gets fired for taking too many coffee breaks in the middle of the day
The corpse of Friends isn’t even cold yet, and after several days of strategic scavenging in Marta Kaufman’s trash, I’ve managed to get an exclusive look at some long-lost Friends plotlines. As you can probably guess, after ten years of making television magic, there were a lot of great ideas that just didn’t quite fit into the 22 amazing minutes we saw each week. Of course, if you believe what you read in sexual harassment lawsuits, some of those great ideas involved Joey becoming a serial rapist, but hey, who can question the creative process? So grab up these last few crumbs from the Friends feast while it lasts, kids, and don’t forget to start completely loving Crossing Jordan, because NBC’s got to get the cash to feed the peacock somehow:
- Rachel befriends an eating-disorder-plagued Korean gymnast named Amy
- Monica and Phoebe trade jobs for the day; madcap mayhem ensues
- Ross reveals the horrifying secret behind his hair
- Chandler enjoys a ludicrous character shift
- Joey is murdered (possible Law & Order crossover)
- Monica eats something
- Marta Kaufman sleeps on a huge pile of money
- Joey & Chandler visit a rocking chair factory
- Ross realizes he has a child; temporarily stops being so creepy
- Rachel goes to work for Kathie Lee Casuals, with hilarious results (guest starring Kelly Ripa)
- Phoebe starts taking independent film work to build credibility as an actress
- Everyone gets fired for taking too many coffee breaks in the middle of the day
