Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Agenda
As you may or may not be aware, I have the next few days off from work. To make the most of this increasingly less rare blessing, I have composed a detailed “task list” of “action items” to “actualize” during my break. Who says that business minor was a waste of time? Actually, maybe that was me. Anyway, here’s what I’ll be up to:
– Starting my own line of homemade jams and jellies.
– Constructing shoebox dioramas of key moments in the Reagan administration.
– Driving around in a van and solving mysteries.
– Memorizing the Gettysburg address, because you never know when a thing like that will come in handy.
– Isolating the gene that causes people to buy humvees; telling that gene it has way too much money.
– Stalking Angela Lansbury.
– Completing coursework for masters degree in French.
– Performing unsolicited baptisms.
– Ghostwriting Ryan Seacrest’s autobiography; struggling to come up with euphemisms for “sucks.”
– Destroying evidence.
– Analyzing how my neighborhood’s “weekday gunshots” differ in quality and type from those on the weekends.
– Refusing to comment on rumors I’ve married Jennifer Lopez.
– Inventing time machine; using it to prevent the cancellation of Blossom.
– Thinking about how the phrase “the cancellation of Blossom” sounds dirty.
– Writing the songs that make the whole world sing.
I’ll be back on Monday, probably exhausted from all of this exertion. Peace.
As you may or may not be aware, I have the next few days off from work. To make the most of this increasingly less rare blessing, I have composed a detailed “task list” of “action items” to “actualize” during my break. Who says that business minor was a waste of time? Actually, maybe that was me. Anyway, here’s what I’ll be up to:
– Starting my own line of homemade jams and jellies.
– Constructing shoebox dioramas of key moments in the Reagan administration.
– Driving around in a van and solving mysteries.
– Memorizing the Gettysburg address, because you never know when a thing like that will come in handy.
– Isolating the gene that causes people to buy humvees; telling that gene it has way too much money.
– Stalking Angela Lansbury.
– Completing coursework for masters degree in French.
– Performing unsolicited baptisms.
– Ghostwriting Ryan Seacrest’s autobiography; struggling to come up with euphemisms for “sucks.”
– Destroying evidence.
– Analyzing how my neighborhood’s “weekday gunshots” differ in quality and type from those on the weekends.
– Refusing to comment on rumors I’ve married Jennifer Lopez.
– Inventing time machine; using it to prevent the cancellation of Blossom.
– Thinking about how the phrase “the cancellation of Blossom” sounds dirty.
– Writing the songs that make the whole world sing.
I’ll be back on Monday, probably exhausted from all of this exertion. Peace.
