Thursday, June 17, 2004
Disclaimer
It has occurred to me recently that this blog sort of—okay, completely—makes me sound like a psychopath. I mean, it seems like every other entry is about how I can’t deal with some social situation or have an irrational loathing of some person/thing or want to go through some celebrity’s trash or something. In contrast, there are very few entries about me uneventfully earning an honest day’s wage, loving God and America, and watching Everybody Loves Raymond. I just don’t come across as typical—more like Larry David with marginally better hair but without the Seinfeld money. Trust me, the resemblance is uncanny.
So to set the record straight, I just want to point out that I do not literally suffer from any sort of personality or mood disorders, and that my only compulsions are grammatical in nature. (I don’t like to end sentences with prepositions and I have an urge to smack people when they say “less” where “fewer” is appropriate.) I had a perfectly happy, normal, non-Charlize-Theron childhood, marred only by the realization that Ronald McDonald was not a legitimate profession. I have no arrests or convictions, although I was once told that I was banned from the Orange Julius for life. So sadly, for me the insanity is just rhetoric. Make of it what you will.
It has occurred to me recently that this blog sort of—okay, completely—makes me sound like a psychopath. I mean, it seems like every other entry is about how I can’t deal with some social situation or have an irrational loathing of some person/thing or want to go through some celebrity’s trash or something. In contrast, there are very few entries about me uneventfully earning an honest day’s wage, loving God and America, and watching Everybody Loves Raymond. I just don’t come across as typical—more like Larry David with marginally better hair but without the Seinfeld money. Trust me, the resemblance is uncanny.
So to set the record straight, I just want to point out that I do not literally suffer from any sort of personality or mood disorders, and that my only compulsions are grammatical in nature. (I don’t like to end sentences with prepositions and I have an urge to smack people when they say “less” where “fewer” is appropriate.) I had a perfectly happy, normal, non-Charlize-Theron childhood, marred only by the realization that Ronald McDonald was not a legitimate profession. I have no arrests or convictions, although I was once told that I was banned from the Orange Julius for life. So sadly, for me the insanity is just rhetoric. Make of it what you will.
