Thursday, July 08, 2004
In Brief
– Spider Man 2. Okay, so it’s a fairly decent movie. But any flick featuring latex body suits and Kirsten Dunst’s lazy face ain’t exactly Ingmar Bergman. So forgive me if I don’t exactly see Aunt May sweeping up at the Oscars any time soon.
– McGriddles. I can literally feel my arteries clogging up as I eat them, and I like it. From now on, I want syrup laced into everything I eat—french fries, tuna, syrup.
– Politics. All this talk about running mates and elections has made me realize one thing: even the “attractive” politicians are fugly. Why doesn’t Congress appropriate itself some money for better hair care?
– Craigslist. Finally, a place where people can sell their used baby furniture and solicit sex partners all in one stop. Apparently America has a missed connection with its dignity.
– Road Trips. Now I know that, despite their differences, all the great states of our union have something in common: filthy gas station restrooms.
– Blind Luck. One of my friends won $20 on a scratch-off game this weekend. Meanwhile, my attempts to scratch my way into a contestant slot on something called “Hoosier Millionaire” were thwarted. Kind of makes you wonder if there’s really a God, doesn’t it?
– Spider Man 2. Okay, so it’s a fairly decent movie. But any flick featuring latex body suits and Kirsten Dunst’s lazy face ain’t exactly Ingmar Bergman. So forgive me if I don’t exactly see Aunt May sweeping up at the Oscars any time soon.
– McGriddles. I can literally feel my arteries clogging up as I eat them, and I like it. From now on, I want syrup laced into everything I eat—french fries, tuna, syrup.
– Politics. All this talk about running mates and elections has made me realize one thing: even the “attractive” politicians are fugly. Why doesn’t Congress appropriate itself some money for better hair care?
– Craigslist. Finally, a place where people can sell their used baby furniture and solicit sex partners all in one stop. Apparently America has a missed connection with its dignity.
– Road Trips. Now I know that, despite their differences, all the great states of our union have something in common: filthy gas station restrooms.
– Blind Luck. One of my friends won $20 on a scratch-off game this weekend. Meanwhile, my attempts to scratch my way into a contestant slot on something called “Hoosier Millionaire” were thwarted. Kind of makes you wonder if there’s really a God, doesn’t it?
