Monday, August 02, 2004
Comings and Goings
- The Bourne Supremacy. Is there any phrase in the English language more thrilling than "Joan Allen action movie?" And from "Bourne Leader" to "Bourne Again," it's taught America's second-tier magazine writers how to pun again.
- Barack Obama. His keynote speech at the DNC had Jim Lehrer acting like Courtney Love in a Wendy's. Forget the senate; he should run for Miss America!
- Paralysis. We started getting ten different HBOs this weekend and my roommate spent nearly as many hours staring at them. Sure, his muscles have started to atrophy, but he's got two-thirds of Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle memorized.
- Millennium Park. The forty gazillion dollars was definitely worth it for a sculpture of a giant, mirrored bean. Where else could we showcase the sticky hand prints of generations of Chicagoans?
- Fireworks. I think it's nice when people applaud them. Let's take it to the next level and begin heckling and haranging as well. "You call that an explosion? My grandma's had bigger chemical reactions!"
- The Bourne Supremacy. Is there any phrase in the English language more thrilling than "Joan Allen action movie?" And from "Bourne Leader" to "Bourne Again," it's taught America's second-tier magazine writers how to pun again.
- Barack Obama. His keynote speech at the DNC had Jim Lehrer acting like Courtney Love in a Wendy's. Forget the senate; he should run for Miss America!
- Paralysis. We started getting ten different HBOs this weekend and my roommate spent nearly as many hours staring at them. Sure, his muscles have started to atrophy, but he's got two-thirds of Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle memorized.
- Millennium Park. The forty gazillion dollars was definitely worth it for a sculpture of a giant, mirrored bean. Where else could we showcase the sticky hand prints of generations of Chicagoans?
- Fireworks. I think it's nice when people applaud them. Let's take it to the next level and begin heckling and haranging as well. "You call that an explosion? My grandma's had bigger chemical reactions!"
