Saturday, August 21, 2004
Potpourri
– The Air & Water Show. Basically, the city voluntarily puts itself under an air raid for three days every summer. Them planes sure is pretty, tho.
– Garden State. Natalie Portman minus laughably wooden Star Wars dialogue plus adorably eccentric character scripted by minor TV star equals good times. And it’s not like you see Eric McCormack busting out with any remarkably self-assured feature film writing/directing debuts, is it?
– Maturity. My co-worker brought her children in to the office the other day and they spent about an hour alternately tickling me and trying to pull my pants down. It’s good to know that, at 26, I’m basically getting beaten up on the playground.
– Carly Patterson. I refuse to believe that any child can be that cheerful without the aid of drugs or minor cranial surgery. Still, she’s vaulted her way into my heart and god help me if she didn’t stick the landing. Don’t be obscene.
– Sharing and Caring. The other day at Target a woman nearly knocked me over with her cart so she could get her hands on the last box of oatmeal creme pies. I’d say the last thing that woman needs is more sugar, but of course I am not a registered dietician.
– Oprah on Jury Duty. This is news? I tried, convicted, and executed six people in my apartment just last week and you didn’t see me issuing a press release. I’ve got to fire that publicist.
– The Air & Water Show. Basically, the city voluntarily puts itself under an air raid for three days every summer. Them planes sure is pretty, tho.
– Garden State. Natalie Portman minus laughably wooden Star Wars dialogue plus adorably eccentric character scripted by minor TV star equals good times. And it’s not like you see Eric McCormack busting out with any remarkably self-assured feature film writing/directing debuts, is it?
– Maturity. My co-worker brought her children in to the office the other day and they spent about an hour alternately tickling me and trying to pull my pants down. It’s good to know that, at 26, I’m basically getting beaten up on the playground.
– Carly Patterson. I refuse to believe that any child can be that cheerful without the aid of drugs or minor cranial surgery. Still, she’s vaulted her way into my heart and god help me if she didn’t stick the landing. Don’t be obscene.
– Sharing and Caring. The other day at Target a woman nearly knocked me over with her cart so she could get her hands on the last box of oatmeal creme pies. I’d say the last thing that woman needs is more sugar, but of course I am not a registered dietician.
– Oprah on Jury Duty. This is news? I tried, convicted, and executed six people in my apartment just last week and you didn’t see me issuing a press release. I’ve got to fire that publicist.
