Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Reader Response
Our readers here at the blog are always full of helpful "suggestions" of ways we can improve our product. Of course, our product cannot possibly be improved; it is perfect, and these people are fools. Let us therefore laugh at their pitiful suggestions:
- Use more fun fonts, like garamond or that one where the letters are made out of logs. I really like fun fonts. Sometimes I dream about them.
- Try to ramble more. Seriously, you're so concise and focused it's distracting.
- Four words: Bea Arthur Theme Week
- You know how sometimes you get a grocery cart with a bad wheel, but you don't notice it a first, and then you've already got a bunch of stuff in there so you just try and deal with it, but then you keep veering to the right and almost hit an old lady on a Rascal Scooter from Electric Mobility? You should write something about that.
- Take your top off!!!!!
- The content should be more country-line-dancing driven. What are the hot new moves? Where are the best bars? What about apparel?
- Tell the readers that you love us more often. Your silence speaks volumes, and it breaks my heart.
- Bill from The Apprentice sightings should become a regular feature, at least until you get arrested.
- Get all political. Doctor up some photos of John Kerry blowing Michael Moore.
- Experiment with format. Why not continue the blog as a one-act play about coming to terms with athlete's foot?
- For a sexy evening look, try dressing the blog in a slinky black dress.
- You should really do something about your hair.
Our readers here at the blog are always full of helpful "suggestions" of ways we can improve our product. Of course, our product cannot possibly be improved; it is perfect, and these people are fools. Let us therefore laugh at their pitiful suggestions:
- Use more fun fonts, like garamond or that one where the letters are made out of logs. I really like fun fonts. Sometimes I dream about them.
- Try to ramble more. Seriously, you're so concise and focused it's distracting.
- Four words: Bea Arthur Theme Week
- You know how sometimes you get a grocery cart with a bad wheel, but you don't notice it a first, and then you've already got a bunch of stuff in there so you just try and deal with it, but then you keep veering to the right and almost hit an old lady on a Rascal Scooter from Electric Mobility? You should write something about that.
- Take your top off!!!!!
- The content should be more country-line-dancing driven. What are the hot new moves? Where are the best bars? What about apparel?
- Tell the readers that you love us more often. Your silence speaks volumes, and it breaks my heart.
- Bill from The Apprentice sightings should become a regular feature, at least until you get arrested.
- Get all political. Doctor up some photos of John Kerry blowing Michael Moore.
- Experiment with format. Why not continue the blog as a one-act play about coming to terms with athlete's foot?
- For a sexy evening look, try dressing the blog in a slinky black dress.
- You should really do something about your hair.
