Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Update
There’s a lot going on in my life right now, all of it vastly important. In fact, it may be too grand to sum up on this insignificant little canvas, but I’ll at least give it a shot, for the children.
So first of all, the biography I wrote for work was nearly banned in the USA. Apparently the powers that be felt that references to The OC and made-up work experiences involving dwarves were out of place in the contemporary legal community. But when I threatened to simply use key portions of John Grisham’s biography instead, people seemed to be more willing to compromise. That is, after all, the key to a successful marriage.
Also, the bad-small-talk security guard posted near the gym in my building has been replaced with an even-worse-small-talk guard. He manages to make even the tight-lipped smile and nod uncomfortable. And yesterday I saw the original bad-small-talk guard working in the main lobby, thereby receiving the brunt of two lingering, contentless discourses within ten minutes. Maybe conversational pain is their secret weapon in the war on terrorism.
And new people started working at my office this week. This is a nice thing, if only because I appreciate having people around who are, however temporarily, more incompetent than me. I may not understand habeas corpus law, but hey, these kids don’t even have security cards yet! They’re stuck down in the lobby engaging in fruitless verbiage with men in uniforms. I may miss seven important phone calls because I’m tying up the line getting the play-by-play on Days of Our Lives from my sister, but at least my voicemail account is already set up! Ahhh, the advantages of seniority. I think that’s probably how it works in Congress, as well.
There’s a lot going on in my life right now, all of it vastly important. In fact, it may be too grand to sum up on this insignificant little canvas, but I’ll at least give it a shot, for the children.
So first of all, the biography I wrote for work was nearly banned in the USA. Apparently the powers that be felt that references to The OC and made-up work experiences involving dwarves were out of place in the contemporary legal community. But when I threatened to simply use key portions of John Grisham’s biography instead, people seemed to be more willing to compromise. That is, after all, the key to a successful marriage.
Also, the bad-small-talk security guard posted near the gym in my building has been replaced with an even-worse-small-talk guard. He manages to make even the tight-lipped smile and nod uncomfortable. And yesterday I saw the original bad-small-talk guard working in the main lobby, thereby receiving the brunt of two lingering, contentless discourses within ten minutes. Maybe conversational pain is their secret weapon in the war on terrorism.
And new people started working at my office this week. This is a nice thing, if only because I appreciate having people around who are, however temporarily, more incompetent than me. I may not understand habeas corpus law, but hey, these kids don’t even have security cards yet! They’re stuck down in the lobby engaging in fruitless verbiage with men in uniforms. I may miss seven important phone calls because I’m tying up the line getting the play-by-play on Days of Our Lives from my sister, but at least my voicemail account is already set up! Ahhh, the advantages of seniority. I think that’s probably how it works in Congress, as well.
