Monday, September 13, 2004
Bits and Pieces
– The Apprentice. You’d think watching poorly-dubbed Trump voiceovers and members of minority groups edited to look crazy would get old, but it just doesn’t. If the next season is looking to top this, they’re probably going to have to get one of the contestants to spontaneously combust.
– Joey. Not nearly as bad as I had every right to hope that it would be. My only suggestion? Fire the guy who plays Joey. He’s bringing the whole thing down.
– NBC. Despite all appearances, I have not been paid to endorse them. I simply receive a steady stream of remaindered Suddenly Susan merchandise. I’m using a Judd Nelson mousepad right now. And don’t forget to watch Father of the Pride on Must-See Tuesdays, only on NBC!
– Brilliance. I spent at least part of the night last Friday passed out on the steps up to my apartment. Because the problem with beds has always been their lack of jagged corners. Next time I drink I think I should hire a nanny.
– People’s Best and Worst Dressed List. Here’s a hint, guys: when Bjork dips her face in glitter, she probably isn’t thinking she’ll be joining Charlize Theron on your hot list. I’m just waiting for U.S. News to put out their list; if Kofi Annan isn’t on it, I’ll just die.
– Modern Convenience. Is it just me, or is it retarded that when you take pictures to the one-hour photo center, they ask when you want them back? I mean, I don’t want to put them out or anything, but a week from Tuesday seems a little bit far away.
– The Apprentice. You’d think watching poorly-dubbed Trump voiceovers and members of minority groups edited to look crazy would get old, but it just doesn’t. If the next season is looking to top this, they’re probably going to have to get one of the contestants to spontaneously combust.
– Joey. Not nearly as bad as I had every right to hope that it would be. My only suggestion? Fire the guy who plays Joey. He’s bringing the whole thing down.
– NBC. Despite all appearances, I have not been paid to endorse them. I simply receive a steady stream of remaindered Suddenly Susan merchandise. I’m using a Judd Nelson mousepad right now. And don’t forget to watch Father of the Pride on Must-See Tuesdays, only on NBC!
– Brilliance. I spent at least part of the night last Friday passed out on the steps up to my apartment. Because the problem with beds has always been their lack of jagged corners. Next time I drink I think I should hire a nanny.
– People’s Best and Worst Dressed List. Here’s a hint, guys: when Bjork dips her face in glitter, she probably isn’t thinking she’ll be joining Charlize Theron on your hot list. I’m just waiting for U.S. News to put out their list; if Kofi Annan isn’t on it, I’ll just die.
– Modern Convenience. Is it just me, or is it retarded that when you take pictures to the one-hour photo center, they ask when you want them back? I mean, I don’t want to put them out or anything, but a week from Tuesday seems a little bit far away.
