Monday, December 13, 2004
The Weekend in Quotes
Man at the Liquor Store: Are you guys having a party?
Jay: No, the keg is just for me. Do you have a twelve foot sub I could chase it down with?
Jay's Sister, Meg: I can’t help but feel that Jesus would have approved of this party. I mean, he turned water into wine, not the other way around.
Random Guest at Jay's Party: I hope this story doesn't sound insensitive, but...
Jay: RACIST! RACIST! Get out of here, you goddamned racist bigot!
(and then later)
Same Random Guest: Hey, can I get another . . .
Jay: RACIST!
Jay’s roommate, Jeremy: Did you know there’s a kid passed out on our couch?
(about an hour later)
Jeremy: Do you know that kid?
(still later)
Jeremy: So is that kid going to be okay, or what?
Jay, picking up his sister: So I don’t know what your plans for the day are, but they’d better include a nap.
Jay’s Friend Sarah, Phoning With a Question: Okay, so I met this guy at your party last night, and he seemed really great, but last time I met someone at one of your parties he turned out to be emotionally unstable and scarily obsessive, so I wanted to check and see what you thought of this one before it went any further.
Jay: Okay . . .
Sarah: Because, you know, not that it’s your fault, but I’d kind of hate for that to happen again.
Girl Jay Randomly Met at his Friend’s Work Party: I’m eighteen, but people always say I act a lot older than that.
Jay’s Cab Driver: So where are you going?
Jay: Well, it’s at North Avenue and . . .
Driver: You just tell me where to turn. We’ll get there.
Jay: Okay, well you can turn left on Halsted . . . um, you just passed Halsted.
Diver: We’ll get there, we’ll get there!
One-Hour Photo Employee: So when do you want these back?
Jay: Would one hour be too much to ask?
OHPE: Cute.
Man at the Liquor Store: Are you guys having a party?
Jay: No, the keg is just for me. Do you have a twelve foot sub I could chase it down with?
Jay's Sister, Meg: I can’t help but feel that Jesus would have approved of this party. I mean, he turned water into wine, not the other way around.
Random Guest at Jay's Party: I hope this story doesn't sound insensitive, but...
Jay: RACIST! RACIST! Get out of here, you goddamned racist bigot!
(and then later)
Same Random Guest: Hey, can I get another . . .
Jay: RACIST!
Jay’s roommate, Jeremy: Did you know there’s a kid passed out on our couch?
(about an hour later)
Jeremy: Do you know that kid?
(still later)
Jeremy: So is that kid going to be okay, or what?
Jay, picking up his sister: So I don’t know what your plans for the day are, but they’d better include a nap.
Jay’s Friend Sarah, Phoning With a Question: Okay, so I met this guy at your party last night, and he seemed really great, but last time I met someone at one of your parties he turned out to be emotionally unstable and scarily obsessive, so I wanted to check and see what you thought of this one before it went any further.
Jay: Okay . . .
Sarah: Because, you know, not that it’s your fault, but I’d kind of hate for that to happen again.
Girl Jay Randomly Met at his Friend’s Work Party: I’m eighteen, but people always say I act a lot older than that.
Jay’s Cab Driver: So where are you going?
Jay: Well, it’s at North Avenue and . . .
Driver: You just tell me where to turn. We’ll get there.
Jay: Okay, well you can turn left on Halsted . . . um, you just passed Halsted.
Diver: We’ll get there, we’ll get there!
One-Hour Photo Employee: So when do you want these back?
Jay: Would one hour be too much to ask?
OHPE: Cute.
