Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Another Thrilling Phone-Related Narrative
Today I will be attending a dentist's appointment for a toothache I no longer have. I'm excited about this for many reasons, not the least of which is the driving horizontal snowstorm I will get to brave to keep this particular engagement. But I would be lying if I said the uselessness of the venture was not its primary appeal.
You see, a week ago I had a really bad toothache, the kind that keeps you awake late at night and makes the Selling Techniques That Work infomercial (the only thing on television at that hour) seem pleasant by comparison. So after a few days of stoic Catholic suffering, I called my dentist's office last Wednesday.
"Hi, I'm a patient of the doctor's, and I just had a checkup a few months ago, but now I'm having a really bad toothache, and I'd like to get it checked out today or tomorrow, if possible."
See how I laid out the whole situation there in the opener? I'm good.
"Okay," the receptionist responded, sounding as though I had just called in a bomb threat. "So are you a patient here?"
"Yes," I responded, bursting with patience and rectitude.
"And you want a cleaning?"
"No," I clarified. "I'm just having some pain and..."
"Hold on a second."
At this point, a two or three minute pause ensued, during which time she managed to completely forget who I was and why I was calling. After some wrangling, however, I ended up with an appointment exactly one week later. And then I pushed it too far.
"I'm just wondering," I said, "what your cancellation policy is. Because, since this appointment is a week away, I don't want to waste the doctor's time if the pain goes away in the interim."
"Um, we need one week's notice on all cancellations."
"Okay, so having just made this appointment, I should also cancel it now?"
"Oh. Do you want to?"
"No, I'm just saying..."
"Can you hold on a second?"
At this point I thanked her for her time and assured her I would be there. And I will. And since I haven't had any tooth pain since last Thursday, it should be a lot of fun.
Today I will be attending a dentist's appointment for a toothache I no longer have. I'm excited about this for many reasons, not the least of which is the driving horizontal snowstorm I will get to brave to keep this particular engagement. But I would be lying if I said the uselessness of the venture was not its primary appeal.
You see, a week ago I had a really bad toothache, the kind that keeps you awake late at night and makes the Selling Techniques That Work infomercial (the only thing on television at that hour) seem pleasant by comparison. So after a few days of stoic Catholic suffering, I called my dentist's office last Wednesday.
"Hi, I'm a patient of the doctor's, and I just had a checkup a few months ago, but now I'm having a really bad toothache, and I'd like to get it checked out today or tomorrow, if possible."
See how I laid out the whole situation there in the opener? I'm good.
"Okay," the receptionist responded, sounding as though I had just called in a bomb threat. "So are you a patient here?"
"Yes," I responded, bursting with patience and rectitude.
"And you want a cleaning?"
"No," I clarified. "I'm just having some pain and..."
"Hold on a second."
At this point, a two or three minute pause ensued, during which time she managed to completely forget who I was and why I was calling. After some wrangling, however, I ended up with an appointment exactly one week later. And then I pushed it too far.
"I'm just wondering," I said, "what your cancellation policy is. Because, since this appointment is a week away, I don't want to waste the doctor's time if the pain goes away in the interim."
"Um, we need one week's notice on all cancellations."
"Okay, so having just made this appointment, I should also cancel it now?"
"Oh. Do you want to?"
"No, I'm just saying..."
"Can you hold on a second?"
At this point I thanked her for her time and assured her I would be there. And I will. And since I haven't had any tooth pain since last Thursday, it should be a lot of fun.
