Saturday, January 22, 2005
White Out
God hates Chicago, or at the very least me. This is my conclusion after a day spent crisscrossing town through the driving snow, stepping into ankle-deep puddles of slush water and slipping into huge snowdrifts. I have never been so cold, wet, or uncomfortable in my life. Well, okay, I have been more uncomfortable -- that time I watched Basic Instinct with my parents comes to mind, or any number of occasions on which my grandmother has shared her views concerning the mingling of the races. But I was so cold and wet that all I could do was change into some flannel pants and a sweatshirt and catch the tail end of Aladdin on ABC. If only Robin Williams had stayed blue and animated, the world would have been a much different place.
It hasn't been all bad, I suppose. My friends and I did exchange a few drunken snowball jabs late last night, and shitty weather provides a sort of pleasant commonality for me with cab drivers -- we just smile and laugh about all those "crazy winter drivers" as we flip over a snowbank at 75 miles per hour. Plus, watching other people struggle in the snow has a certain hilarity to it. Today we watched the same Volkswagen Passat approach the same parking spot and get stuck in the same rut, wheels wildly spinning, on three different occasions. Did the driver think conditions had improved that dramatically while he circled around the block? Tragically unscientific. Then the driver made his girlfriend (or so we assume) come out with a shovel and help dig him out. I am not making this up. Now I'm no expert, but I feel as though that's a sign of some kind of trouble in the relationship.
All right, I'm going to see if I can muster up enough strength to head out to the video store. What a magical winter wonderland!
God hates Chicago, or at the very least me. This is my conclusion after a day spent crisscrossing town through the driving snow, stepping into ankle-deep puddles of slush water and slipping into huge snowdrifts. I have never been so cold, wet, or uncomfortable in my life. Well, okay, I have been more uncomfortable -- that time I watched Basic Instinct with my parents comes to mind, or any number of occasions on which my grandmother has shared her views concerning the mingling of the races. But I was so cold and wet that all I could do was change into some flannel pants and a sweatshirt and catch the tail end of Aladdin on ABC. If only Robin Williams had stayed blue and animated, the world would have been a much different place.
It hasn't been all bad, I suppose. My friends and I did exchange a few drunken snowball jabs late last night, and shitty weather provides a sort of pleasant commonality for me with cab drivers -- we just smile and laugh about all those "crazy winter drivers" as we flip over a snowbank at 75 miles per hour. Plus, watching other people struggle in the snow has a certain hilarity to it. Today we watched the same Volkswagen Passat approach the same parking spot and get stuck in the same rut, wheels wildly spinning, on three different occasions. Did the driver think conditions had improved that dramatically while he circled around the block? Tragically unscientific. Then the driver made his girlfriend (or so we assume) come out with a shovel and help dig him out. I am not making this up. Now I'm no expert, but I feel as though that's a sign of some kind of trouble in the relationship.
All right, I'm going to see if I can muster up enough strength to head out to the video store. What a magical winter wonderland!
