Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Diagnosis: Irritation
Let’s talk for a minute about my doctor. First of all, I think it would be nice if he could remember who I am from visit to visit, or at least some of my more spectacular maladies. I went for a checkup today and he expressed surprise, once again, when my records reminded him that I had obtained a parasite in a non-third-world country some five months ago. Come on buddy, I’m your ticket to the New England Journal of Medicine, come up with a mnemonic or something. Secondly, although I’m certainly no expert in medical etiquette, I believe it is probably rarely appropriate for a physician to respond to his patient’s symptoms with shocked disbelief, as in "Joint pain? Good God, what will become of you?" or "A headache and congestion? Now I’ve seen everything!" It doesn’t exactly instill confidence. Finally, I think perhaps he should learn to type with more than just one finger at a time. I mean, I think about smacking him just waiting for him to hunt and peck that I have a "cold;" I can’t imagine what patients with long-worded conditions like "hypoglycemia" or "fibromyalgia" must do.
And thus continues my lifelong mission to improve everyone around me, one person at a time. No, it isn’t easy to be this perfect, thank you for asking.
Let’s talk for a minute about my doctor. First of all, I think it would be nice if he could remember who I am from visit to visit, or at least some of my more spectacular maladies. I went for a checkup today and he expressed surprise, once again, when my records reminded him that I had obtained a parasite in a non-third-world country some five months ago. Come on buddy, I’m your ticket to the New England Journal of Medicine, come up with a mnemonic or something. Secondly, although I’m certainly no expert in medical etiquette, I believe it is probably rarely appropriate for a physician to respond to his patient’s symptoms with shocked disbelief, as in "Joint pain? Good God, what will become of you?" or "A headache and congestion? Now I’ve seen everything!" It doesn’t exactly instill confidence. Finally, I think perhaps he should learn to type with more than just one finger at a time. I mean, I think about smacking him just waiting for him to hunt and peck that I have a "cold;" I can’t imagine what patients with long-worded conditions like "hypoglycemia" or "fibromyalgia" must do.
And thus continues my lifelong mission to improve everyone around me, one person at a time. No, it isn’t easy to be this perfect, thank you for asking.
