Saturday, February 12, 2005
Legends of the Call
This morning I spent five minutes of my phone conversation with my mother discussing whether Marg Helgenberger, of CSI fame, was "buxom." It was my fault, really -- I had brought her up when jokingly suggesting that CBS news should only be allowed to interrupt episodes of CSI if their breaking news was that one of the cast members had died. This was right after my suggestion that Dan Rather be replaced with Sway from MTV News. I was really on a roll. But somehow, perhaps because God is vengeful, this led to a discourse on Ms. Helgenberger's proportions. Repeatedly insisting that I did not watch the show, did not know who she was, and in fact just liked to say her funny name did nothing to stem the tide. Truth be told, I'm not even really sure that I know precisely what "buxom" means.
Mom also told me that one of her communications students gave a speech on "his legendary boner." She labeled this a bad moment for the First Amendment. Certainly it was a bad moment for the parent/child relationship.
Other topics of interest? (And bear in mind that I am not making these up.) The niceness of the weather, the fact that I accidentally sent my grandmother a Valentine's Day card from the "Mahogony" collection, how Deep Throat ought to just hurry up and die, whether my parents get the Hallmark channel, what and how I ought to pack for my upcoming trip to Florida, the time my cousin killed his cat in the washing machine, and the failings of English-language drama.
Now do you see where I get it?
Maybe I should just go back to bed.
This morning I spent five minutes of my phone conversation with my mother discussing whether Marg Helgenberger, of CSI fame, was "buxom." It was my fault, really -- I had brought her up when jokingly suggesting that CBS news should only be allowed to interrupt episodes of CSI if their breaking news was that one of the cast members had died. This was right after my suggestion that Dan Rather be replaced with Sway from MTV News. I was really on a roll. But somehow, perhaps because God is vengeful, this led to a discourse on Ms. Helgenberger's proportions. Repeatedly insisting that I did not watch the show, did not know who she was, and in fact just liked to say her funny name did nothing to stem the tide. Truth be told, I'm not even really sure that I know precisely what "buxom" means.
Mom also told me that one of her communications students gave a speech on "his legendary boner." She labeled this a bad moment for the First Amendment. Certainly it was a bad moment for the parent/child relationship.
Other topics of interest? (And bear in mind that I am not making these up.) The niceness of the weather, the fact that I accidentally sent my grandmother a Valentine's Day card from the "Mahogony" collection, how Deep Throat ought to just hurry up and die, whether my parents get the Hallmark channel, what and how I ought to pack for my upcoming trip to Florida, the time my cousin killed his cat in the washing machine, and the failings of English-language drama.
Now do you see where I get it?
Maybe I should just go back to bed.
