Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Capitalism at Work
There's a huge battle shaping up outside my el station. We're lucky enough to have this great Red Eye guy who makes up fun musical sales pitches (I think one of them was cribbed from Xtina Aguilera, but I couldn't prove it in a court of law) and even personalizes them (to a woman in a red shirt -- "Hey, Scarlett, how about a Red Eye?!"). But this morning I was shocked to see a rather dazed-looking gentleman in a funeral director's suit also standing at our stop trying to give out newspapers. It turns out this isn't some sort of Red Eye internship program (which is too bad, because I really think I could write the "Whoville" column, as long as they let me make things up), but rather a Jehovah's Witness encroaching on Red Eye territory. I'm not going to tell you there weren't some tense moments, folks. And I hate to think what would've happened if the Streetwise guy arrived on the scene.
For now, though, I have to give the edge to the good people at Tribune Media. I mean, sure, The Watchtower is good, but I found it kind of preachy. And shockingly low on stories about Nick & Jessica. They might want to punch up their design a little, add some fun fonts, maybe a few tarted-up shots of the Olsens. Plus, I really think the Red Eye guy could take suit guy in a fair fight, which is not to say it would be one. Suit guy looks like he's probably a biter.
Ahhh, the joys of free enterprise. If we were communists we might only have one choice for publications to skim wearily on the train and cast into the nearest trash bin.
There's a huge battle shaping up outside my el station. We're lucky enough to have this great Red Eye guy who makes up fun musical sales pitches (I think one of them was cribbed from Xtina Aguilera, but I couldn't prove it in a court of law) and even personalizes them (to a woman in a red shirt -- "Hey, Scarlett, how about a Red Eye?!"). But this morning I was shocked to see a rather dazed-looking gentleman in a funeral director's suit also standing at our stop trying to give out newspapers. It turns out this isn't some sort of Red Eye internship program (which is too bad, because I really think I could write the "Whoville" column, as long as they let me make things up), but rather a Jehovah's Witness encroaching on Red Eye territory. I'm not going to tell you there weren't some tense moments, folks. And I hate to think what would've happened if the Streetwise guy arrived on the scene.
For now, though, I have to give the edge to the good people at Tribune Media. I mean, sure, The Watchtower is good, but I found it kind of preachy. And shockingly low on stories about Nick & Jessica. They might want to punch up their design a little, add some fun fonts, maybe a few tarted-up shots of the Olsens. Plus, I really think the Red Eye guy could take suit guy in a fair fight, which is not to say it would be one. Suit guy looks like he's probably a biter.
Ahhh, the joys of free enterprise. If we were communists we might only have one choice for publications to skim wearily on the train and cast into the nearest trash bin.
