Wednesday, March 02, 2005
The Height of Productivity
Earlier today I fell asleep on top of my keyboard. I woke up to loud beeping from my understandably upset computer, and found that I had typed "hhhhhhh" all over the page with my nose. Frankly, it was one of my more coherent efforts as of late.
A Jolt cola would be pretty nice right about now, although I'm pretty sure that stuff got banned by the FDA at some point during my childhood. Something about sudden heart failure, I don't know. I used to go on Jolt benders all the time in junior high, undoubtedly while jamming to Hammer and playing The American Gladiators Game on my SEGA. Then I got into serious caffeine abuse, popping those Vivarin tabs like pez, though sadly without the Miss-Piggy-shaped dispenser. (It's always been my dream to start a "giants of literature" line of pez dispensers -- imagine snapping Emily Bronte's head back to get your orange-flavored sugar brick! Delicious!) In college, I decided to quit caffeine and ended up sleeping through an entire weekend. I seriously laid down for a nap on Friday night and woke up Sunday. Apparently, my roommate was too busy walking around naked and secretly hating me to notice. God, I miss that kid.
Anyway, today is not a banner day for me. I'm thinking about curling up under my desk for a nap Costanza-style.
Earlier today I fell asleep on top of my keyboard. I woke up to loud beeping from my understandably upset computer, and found that I had typed "hhhhhhh" all over the page with my nose. Frankly, it was one of my more coherent efforts as of late.
A Jolt cola would be pretty nice right about now, although I'm pretty sure that stuff got banned by the FDA at some point during my childhood. Something about sudden heart failure, I don't know. I used to go on Jolt benders all the time in junior high, undoubtedly while jamming to Hammer and playing The American Gladiators Game on my SEGA. Then I got into serious caffeine abuse, popping those Vivarin tabs like pez, though sadly without the Miss-Piggy-shaped dispenser. (It's always been my dream to start a "giants of literature" line of pez dispensers -- imagine snapping Emily Bronte's head back to get your orange-flavored sugar brick! Delicious!) In college, I decided to quit caffeine and ended up sleeping through an entire weekend. I seriously laid down for a nap on Friday night and woke up Sunday. Apparently, my roommate was too busy walking around naked and secretly hating me to notice. God, I miss that kid.
Anyway, today is not a banner day for me. I'm thinking about curling up under my desk for a nap Costanza-style.
