Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Madeline Albright
Can I tell you how much I love our neighbors on the first floor? They’re always doing fun things like making iced Valentine’s Day cookies or going country line dancing, they frequently have jell-o shots or delicious taco dip, and they provide excellent advice for dealing with our swarthy and non-English-speaking building maintenance crew. (First tip? Never look them directly in the eyes, or they will think you are trying to steal their souls.) Plus they never get mad at me if I come home drunk and decide that three in the morning is just as good a time to chat as any. I’m pretty sure we developed a fairly comprehensive solution to the Iraqi quagmire during one of those sessions, but unfortunately my notes were destroyed in a freak vomiting incident. I hear the same thing once happened to Madeline Albright.
In other thoughts that randomly occur to me, has anyone seen the new Real World/Road Rules Challenge? I love the challenges because they allow us to see familiar brands of crazy showcased in new and exciting environments. For instance, who can forget the season when Crazy Religious New Orleans Julie collided with Crazy Promiscuous Semester at Sea Veronica, with the result of lots of hilarious trash talk and one attempted murder? There have only been two episodes so far this season, but already Crazy Kidney Problems Chicago Tonya has thrown all of Crazy Persecution Complex Beth’s clothes into the swimming pool. Later, I hear they have a threesome with Madeline Albright.
And while we’re at it, what’s the deal with Friendster lately? Sometimes I don’t get my messages until days after they’re sent, which in the hustle-and-bustle world of online relationship development is a lifetime. How am I supposed to come up with a witty comment about someone’s choice of Us Weekly as a "favorite book" or designation of NAMBLA as an "affiliation" if I don’t get a little research time? I am pretty jonesed about the fact that I have 99 friends now, though. You know who I’m choosing for number 100? Madeline Albright.
Can I tell you how much I love our neighbors on the first floor? They’re always doing fun things like making iced Valentine’s Day cookies or going country line dancing, they frequently have jell-o shots or delicious taco dip, and they provide excellent advice for dealing with our swarthy and non-English-speaking building maintenance crew. (First tip? Never look them directly in the eyes, or they will think you are trying to steal their souls.) Plus they never get mad at me if I come home drunk and decide that three in the morning is just as good a time to chat as any. I’m pretty sure we developed a fairly comprehensive solution to the Iraqi quagmire during one of those sessions, but unfortunately my notes were destroyed in a freak vomiting incident. I hear the same thing once happened to Madeline Albright.
In other thoughts that randomly occur to me, has anyone seen the new Real World/Road Rules Challenge? I love the challenges because they allow us to see familiar brands of crazy showcased in new and exciting environments. For instance, who can forget the season when Crazy Religious New Orleans Julie collided with Crazy Promiscuous Semester at Sea Veronica, with the result of lots of hilarious trash talk and one attempted murder? There have only been two episodes so far this season, but already Crazy Kidney Problems Chicago Tonya has thrown all of Crazy Persecution Complex Beth’s clothes into the swimming pool. Later, I hear they have a threesome with Madeline Albright.
And while we’re at it, what’s the deal with Friendster lately? Sometimes I don’t get my messages until days after they’re sent, which in the hustle-and-bustle world of online relationship development is a lifetime. How am I supposed to come up with a witty comment about someone’s choice of Us Weekly as a "favorite book" or designation of NAMBLA as an "affiliation" if I don’t get a little research time? I am pretty jonesed about the fact that I have 99 friends now, though. You know who I’m choosing for number 100? Madeline Albright.
