Friday, April 15, 2005
Snapshots
– Addiction. It wasn’t until I found myself considering a season pass for Seventh Heaven that I realized how much TiVO has exacerbated my bad TV habit. I mean, without the dramatic powerhouse that is Jessica Biel, that show has really suffered.
– Judicial Process. Some kid at NYU asked Justice Scalia if he sodomizes his wife. Clearly he hadn’t read the justice’s blistering dissent in Marbury v. Assman.
– Self-Flagellation. Having finally completed the long hard slog through Thomas Pynchon’s sprawling masterwork, I decided to subject myself to a Theodore Dreiser 900-pager. The good news is, if you’re interested in turn-of-the-century millwork, you’ll definitely get your fix. And who isn’t? I think they should make millwork porn.
– The Apprentice. Yes, I long for the glory days of completely fabricated romances and falling-plaster-induced insanity, but the muffled sobs from rageaholic Chris were something of a triumph. I think they should lock him and Omarosa in a tiny room with a couple of police tazers and see what happens.
– Home Repair. After six months of flushing a jagged plastic shard, I finally replaced the handle on my toilet this week. And it only took me three attempts. Next week I think I’m going to try soldering something.
– Addiction. It wasn’t until I found myself considering a season pass for Seventh Heaven that I realized how much TiVO has exacerbated my bad TV habit. I mean, without the dramatic powerhouse that is Jessica Biel, that show has really suffered.
– Judicial Process. Some kid at NYU asked Justice Scalia if he sodomizes his wife. Clearly he hadn’t read the justice’s blistering dissent in Marbury v. Assman.
– Self-Flagellation. Having finally completed the long hard slog through Thomas Pynchon’s sprawling masterwork, I decided to subject myself to a Theodore Dreiser 900-pager. The good news is, if you’re interested in turn-of-the-century millwork, you’ll definitely get your fix. And who isn’t? I think they should make millwork porn.
– The Apprentice. Yes, I long for the glory days of completely fabricated romances and falling-plaster-induced insanity, but the muffled sobs from rageaholic Chris were something of a triumph. I think they should lock him and Omarosa in a tiny room with a couple of police tazers and see what happens.
– Home Repair. After six months of flushing a jagged plastic shard, I finally replaced the handle on my toilet this week. And it only took me three attempts. Next week I think I’m going to try soldering something.
