Monday, April 25, 2005
True Confessions
A lot of times there are reporters and cameramen down in the lobby of my building, since I work at a courthouse. Sometimes I like to pretend that they are there to see me. It's usually for some pedophile or neo-Nazi, though. Those guys have all the luck.
I look really bad in 95% of all hats. If you see me in a hat and I don't look bad, it's only because that hat has made it through an exceedingly careful vetting process.
Sometimes when people are talking really loudly on their cell phones in the middle of a crowded train I imagine their phones blowing up. There are never survivors.
I feel like Michael Jackson probably did it. I still love Off the Wall, though.
When I was in third grade I had a huge crush on Miss Piggy. To this day I still have some unresolved feelings about bacon.
I like sporks. What can I say? They're just pleasing to me.
When I get bored with a phone conversation, I start just saying "uh-huh" a lot and doing other things. Once I ironed two shirts and watched an entire episode of friends while talking to my mother.
I've started watching old episodes of Saved By the Bell in the morning before work. It breaks my heart to think that little Jessie Spano grew up to be such a naughty girl. I blame Slater.
I am really only an average violist.
A lot of times there are reporters and cameramen down in the lobby of my building, since I work at a courthouse. Sometimes I like to pretend that they are there to see me. It's usually for some pedophile or neo-Nazi, though. Those guys have all the luck.
I look really bad in 95% of all hats. If you see me in a hat and I don't look bad, it's only because that hat has made it through an exceedingly careful vetting process.
Sometimes when people are talking really loudly on their cell phones in the middle of a crowded train I imagine their phones blowing up. There are never survivors.
I feel like Michael Jackson probably did it. I still love Off the Wall, though.
When I was in third grade I had a huge crush on Miss Piggy. To this day I still have some unresolved feelings about bacon.
I like sporks. What can I say? They're just pleasing to me.
When I get bored with a phone conversation, I start just saying "uh-huh" a lot and doing other things. Once I ironed two shirts and watched an entire episode of friends while talking to my mother.
I've started watching old episodes of Saved By the Bell in the morning before work. It breaks my heart to think that little Jessie Spano grew up to be such a naughty girl. I blame Slater.
I am really only an average violist.
