Thursday, July 14, 2005
Working It
Have you ever done that thing where you’re riding in an elevator by yourself and consequently somehow forget that elevators have entrances people can come through without notifying you in advance? Yeah, today my boss pretty much caught me loudly humming a little number from Godspell (and I definitely can’t explain that, so don’t ask) somewhere between the 16th and 26th floors. I just thank God (as ably portrayed by one Victor Garber in the 1973 film version) I hadn’t yet made the leap into choreography. Or started doing that thing where I walk back and forth as the elevator moves to see if I’ll feel weightless. That definitely says "model employee."
Actually, though, boss man and I had a little heart to heart today about ways we could improve the "work experience" here in the law mines. It was actually sort of awkward, because the things that would actually improve anyone’s work experience—such as a ban on the hiring of crazy people, free Ferraris for everyone, and Hooker Thursdays—aren’t really the kinds of things you can bring up in a meeting with your boss. Instead, I ended up saying a lot of exceedingly articulate and wholly meaningless things about autonomy and responsibility, the chain of command, and proactively qualitizing the work product. See how I’m utterly revitalizing the workplace? At least I mentioned that keeping a bowl of free candy on his desk would be pretty sweet.
Have you ever done that thing where you’re riding in an elevator by yourself and consequently somehow forget that elevators have entrances people can come through without notifying you in advance? Yeah, today my boss pretty much caught me loudly humming a little number from Godspell (and I definitely can’t explain that, so don’t ask) somewhere between the 16th and 26th floors. I just thank God (as ably portrayed by one Victor Garber in the 1973 film version) I hadn’t yet made the leap into choreography. Or started doing that thing where I walk back and forth as the elevator moves to see if I’ll feel weightless. That definitely says "model employee."
Actually, though, boss man and I had a little heart to heart today about ways we could improve the "work experience" here in the law mines. It was actually sort of awkward, because the things that would actually improve anyone’s work experience—such as a ban on the hiring of crazy people, free Ferraris for everyone, and Hooker Thursdays—aren’t really the kinds of things you can bring up in a meeting with your boss. Instead, I ended up saying a lot of exceedingly articulate and wholly meaningless things about autonomy and responsibility, the chain of command, and proactively qualitizing the work product. See how I’m utterly revitalizing the workplace? At least I mentioned that keeping a bowl of free candy on his desk would be pretty sweet.