Friday, August 12, 2005
A Number of Items
So I rented National Treasure with my parents the other night. I know, I know. But it was basically between that and I, Robot, so I resigned myself to two hours of Nicolas Cage with what appeared to be a dead muskrat on his head. I don't think I overstate my case to say that this movie is the single greatest artistic achievement in the history of the world. It centers around the premise that our founding fathers were members of a secret society that had some kind of huge Egyptian treasure, but decided to stash it in a basement somewhere rather than spend it on powdered wigs and stamp taxes and the like. And it can only be uncovered by Nicolas Cage and some blonde chick with a German accent that manages to sound fake even though she is in fact German. There's a lot of fast driving and running up and down rickety-looking staircases involved. But mainly the movie teaches us that security at national historic sites is incredibly lax. See, it's a message piece. More funding for historical document protection, stat! Write your congressman.
I've also ended up watching several episodes of The Young & The Restless (or Y & R, as those of us in the know call it) with my 94-year-old grandmother. The great thing about this is that I can keep up with the plot even though I haven't seen it in a year. I know exactly what Nick did to Phyllis's son, and what happened with poor Cassie. I also have the advantage of not caring. No matter what happens, I still get my sandwich.
Plus, I've been going to my parents' fitness center, which gives me the opportunity to observe hundreds of old men wielding medicine balls and old ladies taking water aerobics classes. I don't really have anything else to say about that, but damn is it sexy.
Don't hate me for my exciting lifestyle. Believe me, there are much better reasons to hate me.
So I rented National Treasure with my parents the other night. I know, I know. But it was basically between that and I, Robot, so I resigned myself to two hours of Nicolas Cage with what appeared to be a dead muskrat on his head. I don't think I overstate my case to say that this movie is the single greatest artistic achievement in the history of the world. It centers around the premise that our founding fathers were members of a secret society that had some kind of huge Egyptian treasure, but decided to stash it in a basement somewhere rather than spend it on powdered wigs and stamp taxes and the like. And it can only be uncovered by Nicolas Cage and some blonde chick with a German accent that manages to sound fake even though she is in fact German. There's a lot of fast driving and running up and down rickety-looking staircases involved. But mainly the movie teaches us that security at national historic sites is incredibly lax. See, it's a message piece. More funding for historical document protection, stat! Write your congressman.
I've also ended up watching several episodes of The Young & The Restless (or Y & R, as those of us in the know call it) with my 94-year-old grandmother. The great thing about this is that I can keep up with the plot even though I haven't seen it in a year. I know exactly what Nick did to Phyllis's son, and what happened with poor Cassie. I also have the advantage of not caring. No matter what happens, I still get my sandwich.
Plus, I've been going to my parents' fitness center, which gives me the opportunity to observe hundreds of old men wielding medicine balls and old ladies taking water aerobics classes. I don't really have anything else to say about that, but damn is it sexy.
Don't hate me for my exciting lifestyle. Believe me, there are much better reasons to hate me.
