Tuesday, September 27, 2005
The More You Know
Every morning now at my gym I get to listen to the shouted conversations of the lumpy old men who parade around the locker room naked. They say so many ridiculous things that I always think I should write them down, but sadly I seldom carry a pen and paper with me in the shower. But suffice it to say that, with The Excess Body Hair Brigade in charge, the Cubs would have won the World Series about six times this year, terrorists would have built us a couple of extra buildings instead of the other way around, and CBS never would have cancelled Diagnosis: Murder. These guys have the answers to everything!
I, in contrast, seem to have the answers to very little these days. The other day I was leaving a phone message and I realized I could not recall my own phone number. (The maintenance man will now forever think I slipped him a fake.) I now use a handheld device to remind me to do things like eat and pick up my dry cleaning. (Always in that order.) And I have called the computer help line so many times that I am now on a first name basis with all of the tech guys. (Special thanks to Tech Guy Steve for explaining to me how to fix computers by striking them or removing their batteries.) I am in bad shape.
On the plus side, I have nearly caught up with my two-week backlog of DVRed television. And I am more deeply in love with LOST than I have ever been. That, for some reason, I can actually follow...
Every morning now at my gym I get to listen to the shouted conversations of the lumpy old men who parade around the locker room naked. They say so many ridiculous things that I always think I should write them down, but sadly I seldom carry a pen and paper with me in the shower. But suffice it to say that, with The Excess Body Hair Brigade in charge, the Cubs would have won the World Series about six times this year, terrorists would have built us a couple of extra buildings instead of the other way around, and CBS never would have cancelled Diagnosis: Murder. These guys have the answers to everything!
I, in contrast, seem to have the answers to very little these days. The other day I was leaving a phone message and I realized I could not recall my own phone number. (The maintenance man will now forever think I slipped him a fake.) I now use a handheld device to remind me to do things like eat and pick up my dry cleaning. (Always in that order.) And I have called the computer help line so many times that I am now on a first name basis with all of the tech guys. (Special thanks to Tech Guy Steve for explaining to me how to fix computers by striking them or removing their batteries.) I am in bad shape.
On the plus side, I have nearly caught up with my two-week backlog of DVRed television. And I am more deeply in love with LOST than I have ever been. That, for some reason, I can actually follow...
