Thursday, December 01, 2005
Winter %#&*%*@ Wonderland
Got a little bit of snow last night. I know this because I slipped down the front steps of my building this morning and nearly impaled myself on the front gate. Then I stepped in an ankle-deep puddle of slush near the train station, resulting in some frostbite-type symptoms that you can be assured I am carefully monitoring. I also had to make about five minutes of awkward snow-based small talk with one of the floater secretaries on my floor as I walked in today. Apparently, Mother Nature is out to kill me, even if she has to bore me to death.
I love how TV treats Winter like its so warm and cozy and delightful this time of year. It's all insanely attractive people wearing Old Navy Performance Fleece and throwing snowballs at each other without mussing their hair. Why don't they show my dad in his long underwear and snowsuit cursing God as he tries for the fifth time to dig the minivan out of an embankment? Or our Quincy neighbors trying to fight back snowdrifts with a flame thrower? Those are Winter memories you can't buy in a child size large, people.
Speaking of which, my office "holiday" party is coming up! There are going to be themed floors, including one called "the enchanted forest" that features a lute player. There will also be face painting. It seems certain to be a disaster. I totally can't wait!
Got a little bit of snow last night. I know this because I slipped down the front steps of my building this morning and nearly impaled myself on the front gate. Then I stepped in an ankle-deep puddle of slush near the train station, resulting in some frostbite-type symptoms that you can be assured I am carefully monitoring. I also had to make about five minutes of awkward snow-based small talk with one of the floater secretaries on my floor as I walked in today. Apparently, Mother Nature is out to kill me, even if she has to bore me to death.
I love how TV treats Winter like its so warm and cozy and delightful this time of year. It's all insanely attractive people wearing Old Navy Performance Fleece and throwing snowballs at each other without mussing their hair. Why don't they show my dad in his long underwear and snowsuit cursing God as he tries for the fifth time to dig the minivan out of an embankment? Or our Quincy neighbors trying to fight back snowdrifts with a flame thrower? Those are Winter memories you can't buy in a child size large, people.
Speaking of which, my office "holiday" party is coming up! There are going to be themed floors, including one called "the enchanted forest" that features a lute player. There will also be face painting. It seems certain to be a disaster. I totally can't wait!
