Sunday, February 19, 2006
The Cold War
It is so cold outside that I am considering freezing to death just to prove a point. I can't even walk more than a few blocks without feeling like my face will fall off and ducking into the nearest 7-11 to warm myself up while pretending to be interested in buying expired tuna at an outrageous markup. As I was walking home on Friday night, I found myself involuntarily talking to myself about how cold it was; I believe some philosophical questions about the existence of a higher power were also involved.
Under such circumstances, my general strategy is to barricade myself into my home and watch terrible television. I believe this is the entire reason for my familiarity with the cinematic works of one Jennifer Love Hewitt. This morning I flipped back and forth between an MTV documentary (two words that really don't seem to belong together) about fat camp and the classic film "Blast From the Past" starring Brendan Fraser as a naive bomb shelter resident and Alicia Silverstone as someone who doesn't yet know that her fifteen minutes are up. I honestly believe the shame for America I felt made me warmer.
My sister was also in town, which for some people might mean crazy times, but since the two of us share the same genetic code, we simply decided to play Dr. Mario and Yoshi's Cookie (perhaps the two nerdiest Nintendo games, as they involve logic rather than mushroom consumption) for several hours. The good news is that I am still the best Dr. Mario player of all time; I feel like I should be awarded some sort of honorary degree for this. If you ever get the red, yellow, or blue virus, I'm the man with your cure.
It is so cold outside that I am considering freezing to death just to prove a point. I can't even walk more than a few blocks without feeling like my face will fall off and ducking into the nearest 7-11 to warm myself up while pretending to be interested in buying expired tuna at an outrageous markup. As I was walking home on Friday night, I found myself involuntarily talking to myself about how cold it was; I believe some philosophical questions about the existence of a higher power were also involved.
Under such circumstances, my general strategy is to barricade myself into my home and watch terrible television. I believe this is the entire reason for my familiarity with the cinematic works of one Jennifer Love Hewitt. This morning I flipped back and forth between an MTV documentary (two words that really don't seem to belong together) about fat camp and the classic film "Blast From the Past" starring Brendan Fraser as a naive bomb shelter resident and Alicia Silverstone as someone who doesn't yet know that her fifteen minutes are up. I honestly believe the shame for America I felt made me warmer.
My sister was also in town, which for some people might mean crazy times, but since the two of us share the same genetic code, we simply decided to play Dr. Mario and Yoshi's Cookie (perhaps the two nerdiest Nintendo games, as they involve logic rather than mushroom consumption) for several hours. The good news is that I am still the best Dr. Mario player of all time; I feel like I should be awarded some sort of honorary degree for this. If you ever get the red, yellow, or blue virus, I'm the man with your cure.
