Monday, March 06, 2006
Oscar Watch
I attended a swanky Oscar party last night at Friend Amy's home. I say it was "swanky" because there was more than one dish served that involved seafood and the drinks were mixed rather than poured from a box. Roommate Liz and I had planned (threatened?) to come dressed as Brokeback Mountain's lovelorn cowboys, but due to poor weather and general laziness we decided instead to go as nothing. Which is too bad, because I had a hat picked out and everything. Maybe I'll wear it to Connecticut this Friday.
Of the ceremonies themselves, I have several observations. First, Reese Witherspoon, while most likely a lovely person and most definitely a recipient of my undying love ever since Election, has a chin so sharp I fear she'll impale someone should she ever trip and fall. Most likely her husband, who really needs to work on his "supportive and not at all threatened by my spouse's professional success" face. Second, the set looked like it was created by a thirteen year old girl. Modeled on her Lisa Frank notebook. All it needed was a rainbow kitten. Third, seating Jack Nicholson next to Keira Knightly is like putting Al Roker next to a freezer full of Haagen-Das; eventually, someone is going to get eaten.
And finally, I don't care if it is for a movie, Tom Hanks needs to cut his damned hair. Every time I see him I just wonder if maybe a tanker ran aground up there.
I attended a swanky Oscar party last night at Friend Amy's home. I say it was "swanky" because there was more than one dish served that involved seafood and the drinks were mixed rather than poured from a box. Roommate Liz and I had planned (threatened?) to come dressed as Brokeback Mountain's lovelorn cowboys, but due to poor weather and general laziness we decided instead to go as nothing. Which is too bad, because I had a hat picked out and everything. Maybe I'll wear it to Connecticut this Friday.
Of the ceremonies themselves, I have several observations. First, Reese Witherspoon, while most likely a lovely person and most definitely a recipient of my undying love ever since Election, has a chin so sharp I fear she'll impale someone should she ever trip and fall. Most likely her husband, who really needs to work on his "supportive and not at all threatened by my spouse's professional success" face. Second, the set looked like it was created by a thirteen year old girl. Modeled on her Lisa Frank notebook. All it needed was a rainbow kitten. Third, seating Jack Nicholson next to Keira Knightly is like putting Al Roker next to a freezer full of Haagen-Das; eventually, someone is going to get eaten.
And finally, I don't care if it is for a movie, Tom Hanks needs to cut his damned hair. Every time I see him I just wonder if maybe a tanker ran aground up there.
