Thursday, March 30, 2006
Value City!
In anticipation of my upcoming move, I am pleased to offer the following fine items for sale:
-- One country/western style couch, complete with red wine stain and suspicious white marks that definitely, definitely predate the time I caught my old roommate having sex on the item. Perfect for square dance halls or schools for the blind.
-- One IKEA dresser, built from finest plywood, leans slightly to the left. Has been sitting on back deck for approximately eight months; resident family of muskrats included.
-- One torn-up carpet square, mistaken for a bath mat and tossed in the washer. Looks as though someone killed Grover.
-- One "Hitch" hat. Need not have seen "Hitch" to purchase.
-- One VHS videotape, entitled "History of the Big Ten," unopened. Narrated by Edward James Olmos.
-- One badly-scratched coffee table, known to safely hold up to 180 pounds of drunken, gyrating human.
-- Two non-working speakers designed to be used with a stereo no one has made since 1987.
Let the bidding begin!
In anticipation of my upcoming move, I am pleased to offer the following fine items for sale:
-- One country/western style couch, complete with red wine stain and suspicious white marks that definitely, definitely predate the time I caught my old roommate having sex on the item. Perfect for square dance halls or schools for the blind.
-- One IKEA dresser, built from finest plywood, leans slightly to the left. Has been sitting on back deck for approximately eight months; resident family of muskrats included.
-- One torn-up carpet square, mistaken for a bath mat and tossed in the washer. Looks as though someone killed Grover.
-- One "Hitch" hat. Need not have seen "Hitch" to purchase.
-- One VHS videotape, entitled "History of the Big Ten," unopened. Narrated by Edward James Olmos.
-- One badly-scratched coffee table, known to safely hold up to 180 pounds of drunken, gyrating human.
-- Two non-working speakers designed to be used with a stereo no one has made since 1987.
Let the bidding begin!
