Thursday, June 01, 2006
Travels
Yesterday was a bit rough. I had to get up at 5:15 to drive to a tiny town downstate for a deposition. Of course, I ended up doing that thing where I wake up in the middle of the night and decide in my sleep-addled logic that it will be okay for me to reset the alarm clock, so I ended up waking at 5:45, but who's counting? All that matters is that I didn't have time to shower and I ended up accidentally grabbing one of Roommate Liz's shirts rather than my own. Good times.
Anyway, we managed to get on the road in time to sit in awful traffic for an hour and a half, during which time I threatened to make everyone play license plate bingo and other child abusive games from our family car trip pasts. I also debuted the theory that I should pretend I was an android when we got to the deposition and make all my objections based on the premise that the questions "do not compute." Oh, and we rocked out to some Mariah Carey and Boys II Men, which I learned is not the same group as All 4 One. The Corolla was a very happy place.
Of course, all of this changed at the actual deposition, where opposing counsel, a tiny, angry man obviously still getting over the fact that Patti Keller broke up with him when he was cut from the JV wrestling squad in high school, decided to prove his manhood by gratuitously screaming at us and our client. The amount of moral outrage involved seemed somewhat out of place given that the allegations of the case were fraud rather than, say, genocide. When we told him he was being ridiculous, he responded that we were "more ridiculous," and I was tempted to respond that he was being "ridiculous to the power of infinity plus one." It was all very sophisticated.
My major disappointment was that no one wanted to stop at either the corn maze or the outlet mall on the way back. I mean, come on, who doesn't want some scratched and dented Clairborn products?
Yesterday was a bit rough. I had to get up at 5:15 to drive to a tiny town downstate for a deposition. Of course, I ended up doing that thing where I wake up in the middle of the night and decide in my sleep-addled logic that it will be okay for me to reset the alarm clock, so I ended up waking at 5:45, but who's counting? All that matters is that I didn't have time to shower and I ended up accidentally grabbing one of Roommate Liz's shirts rather than my own. Good times.
Anyway, we managed to get on the road in time to sit in awful traffic for an hour and a half, during which time I threatened to make everyone play license plate bingo and other child abusive games from our family car trip pasts. I also debuted the theory that I should pretend I was an android when we got to the deposition and make all my objections based on the premise that the questions "do not compute." Oh, and we rocked out to some Mariah Carey and Boys II Men, which I learned is not the same group as All 4 One. The Corolla was a very happy place.
Of course, all of this changed at the actual deposition, where opposing counsel, a tiny, angry man obviously still getting over the fact that Patti Keller broke up with him when he was cut from the JV wrestling squad in high school, decided to prove his manhood by gratuitously screaming at us and our client. The amount of moral outrage involved seemed somewhat out of place given that the allegations of the case were fraud rather than, say, genocide. When we told him he was being ridiculous, he responded that we were "more ridiculous," and I was tempted to respond that he was being "ridiculous to the power of infinity plus one." It was all very sophisticated.
My major disappointment was that no one wanted to stop at either the corn maze or the outlet mall on the way back. I mean, come on, who doesn't want some scratched and dented Clairborn products?
