Saturday, November 25, 2006
Thankskgivnig
When my friend Jeanne was a freshman in college, she lived with possibly the stupidest girl who has ever lived. In addition to emptying a Diet Coke onto Jeanne's computer on a dare and drunkenly confusing their shared closet with the bathroom, this young lady liked to write the names of holidays on her calendar in large block letters outlined in each of the colors of her naturally multicolored pen. For America's annual festival of overeating and pretending to care about football, she invented the most creative spelling I've ever seen -- "T-H-A-N-K-S-K-G-I-V-N-I-G." That's how I've known the holiday ever since.
My own thankskgivnig this year was pretty uneventful. We took my grandmother out to eat at an Old Person Restaurant as usual, but this year she didn't loudly whisper any unconventional views about Hispanics or the fat people at the table next to us, so that didn't really result in any incident. I went out with some of my friends and had several Long Islands, but unlike in years past I didn't insult anyone's John Deere cap or unusual arrangement of teeth, so there wasn't really anything to report there, either. My sister did buy one of those games where you dance on an electronic pad and get evaluated on your accuracy, so my feet have nearly been reduced to stumps while perfecting "Independant Woman Part I," but that's about the most interesting thing that's happened. Oh, and I went to nine different stores looking for Christmas cards, but that was more malodorous than fascinating.
Actually, I think the uneventfulness may in fact be what I am most thankful for.
When my friend Jeanne was a freshman in college, she lived with possibly the stupidest girl who has ever lived. In addition to emptying a Diet Coke onto Jeanne's computer on a dare and drunkenly confusing their shared closet with the bathroom, this young lady liked to write the names of holidays on her calendar in large block letters outlined in each of the colors of her naturally multicolored pen. For America's annual festival of overeating and pretending to care about football, she invented the most creative spelling I've ever seen -- "T-H-A-N-K-S-K-G-I-V-N-I-G." That's how I've known the holiday ever since.
My own thankskgivnig this year was pretty uneventful. We took my grandmother out to eat at an Old Person Restaurant as usual, but this year she didn't loudly whisper any unconventional views about Hispanics or the fat people at the table next to us, so that didn't really result in any incident. I went out with some of my friends and had several Long Islands, but unlike in years past I didn't insult anyone's John Deere cap or unusual arrangement of teeth, so there wasn't really anything to report there, either. My sister did buy one of those games where you dance on an electronic pad and get evaluated on your accuracy, so my feet have nearly been reduced to stumps while perfecting "Independant Woman Part I," but that's about the most interesting thing that's happened. Oh, and I went to nine different stores looking for Christmas cards, but that was more malodorous than fascinating.
Actually, I think the uneventfulness may in fact be what I am most thankful for.
