Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Legends of the Fall
This Christmas Eve began with a bang as my 95-year-old grandmother took a tumble into her front yard as I was helping her into our car. As it turned out, she was totally fine, but I don't know that I've ever been more horrified than as I watched her slip out of my grasp and stumble backwards three steps before ultimately pitching over onto her backside. Not even when I accidentally rented Unfaithful with my parents. I tend to think that a little graphic sex strengthens the filial bond.
So anyway, there I was, standing next to the car, watching a senior citizen taste turf. My sister immediately and very helpfully yelled "get her!" as I myself let out a "noooo!" But as it turns out, screaming actually can't stop gravity. I was envisioning broken hips, internal bleeding, a command performance of our annual Christmas concert at the local ER. Plus I couldn't imagine how we would explain it to our parents. We have a rule in our house that everyone gets out alive on Christmas Eve.
Luckily, however, my grandmother is apparently made out of the same material as battleships and According to Jim, because she inexplicably made it through without even a scratch. Only a snagged pair of nylons, which I'm sure I'll get to help her replace on some imminent trip to J.C. Penney. And my sister and I totally killed in the Christmas concert. We even did a medley about bells.
This Christmas Eve began with a bang as my 95-year-old grandmother took a tumble into her front yard as I was helping her into our car. As it turned out, she was totally fine, but I don't know that I've ever been more horrified than as I watched her slip out of my grasp and stumble backwards three steps before ultimately pitching over onto her backside. Not even when I accidentally rented Unfaithful with my parents. I tend to think that a little graphic sex strengthens the filial bond.
So anyway, there I was, standing next to the car, watching a senior citizen taste turf. My sister immediately and very helpfully yelled "get her!" as I myself let out a "noooo!" But as it turns out, screaming actually can't stop gravity. I was envisioning broken hips, internal bleeding, a command performance of our annual Christmas concert at the local ER. Plus I couldn't imagine how we would explain it to our parents. We have a rule in our house that everyone gets out alive on Christmas Eve.
Luckily, however, my grandmother is apparently made out of the same material as battleships and According to Jim, because she inexplicably made it through without even a scratch. Only a snagged pair of nylons, which I'm sure I'll get to help her replace on some imminent trip to J.C. Penney. And my sister and I totally killed in the Christmas concert. We even did a medley about bells.
