Saturday, March 24, 2007
The Lord of the Dance
Tonight is Roommate Liz's birthday party, and I have been nominated to perform a very special exotic dance. It is a little number I picked up from my Comcast on demand workouts, and it promises to be spectacular. Here are the anticipated elements, as they were taught to me by the middle-aged lady in a sparkly bodysuit who hosts "Exotic Dance 1":
-- making strong eye contact (this may look like staring, but it's not)
-- walking (a lot like the wedding walk, but sexier)
-- sending and receiving energy (mainly waving one's hands, but some rubbing of the self)
-- making small circles with one's hips while imagining that lasers are shooting through one's head
-- arching one's back (maybe not as important for a guy?)
Unfortunately, we don't have "Exotic Dance 2" right now, so that's all we get. At least it beats the "Latin Grooves," though.
And by the way, the on-screen graphics assure me that my instructor "has been married for 21 years and has three children," so I'm totally not a whore for doing this.
Tonight is Roommate Liz's birthday party, and I have been nominated to perform a very special exotic dance. It is a little number I picked up from my Comcast on demand workouts, and it promises to be spectacular. Here are the anticipated elements, as they were taught to me by the middle-aged lady in a sparkly bodysuit who hosts "Exotic Dance 1":
-- making strong eye contact (this may look like staring, but it's not)
-- walking (a lot like the wedding walk, but sexier)
-- sending and receiving energy (mainly waving one's hands, but some rubbing of the self)
-- making small circles with one's hips while imagining that lasers are shooting through one's head
-- arching one's back (maybe not as important for a guy?)
Unfortunately, we don't have "Exotic Dance 2" right now, so that's all we get. At least it beats the "Latin Grooves," though.
And by the way, the on-screen graphics assure me that my instructor "has been married for 21 years and has three children," so I'm totally not a whore for doing this.
