Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Fortunate
I had Chinese for lunch today and my fortune cookie shared the following message: "An aura of glamour and mystery surrounds your events this week." Ah, the cookie knows me so well. I am Mr. Glamour and Mystery. I'll remember that as I take that tour of a hog rendering plant I've got scheduled for later this week.
I always think it's funny when fortune cookies just say generic things that aren't fortunes at all but just truisms. For instance, I once got a message that said "A stitch in time saves nine." Great, is Ben Franklin living in my cookie? I want to be promised success and riches, not hectored into being punctual.
Maybe I should start writing fortune cookies for a living. I have some really great ideas in this arena. For instance, a series of fortune cookies with threatening or disturbing messages, such as "You will die on June 21, 2013" or "Do you know where your wife is?" Or cookies with insults drafted by the great comics of the world, like Jay Leno and Screech. Or maybe photo fortunes that actually depict your imminent devise. This is a growth industry, I can just feel it.
I had Chinese for lunch today and my fortune cookie shared the following message: "An aura of glamour and mystery surrounds your events this week." Ah, the cookie knows me so well. I am Mr. Glamour and Mystery. I'll remember that as I take that tour of a hog rendering plant I've got scheduled for later this week.
I always think it's funny when fortune cookies just say generic things that aren't fortunes at all but just truisms. For instance, I once got a message that said "A stitch in time saves nine." Great, is Ben Franklin living in my cookie? I want to be promised success and riches, not hectored into being punctual.
Maybe I should start writing fortune cookies for a living. I have some really great ideas in this arena. For instance, a series of fortune cookies with threatening or disturbing messages, such as "You will die on June 21, 2013" or "Do you know where your wife is?" Or cookies with insults drafted by the great comics of the world, like Jay Leno and Screech. Or maybe photo fortunes that actually depict your imminent devise. This is a growth industry, I can just feel it.
