Saturday, June 23, 2007
Classics Department
Having finished off most of the hilarious on-demand dating profiles (SassyGirl52, we hardly knew thee) and run out of enthusiasm for Maroon 5 Month on on-demand videos, I've lately been turning to the on-demand movies. Sure, some of the selection leaves something to desire (did we really need both The Mangler and The Mangler 2?), but there are also some real winners. Last week I watched On The Waterfront, which took me back to an era when dialogue still crackled and Marlon Brando still had a jawline. I also especially enjoyed Karl Malden's nose, which has never really been duplicated, even by Ashlee Simpson, in the entire history of cinema. And a few weeks ago I rewatched Rear Window, which is hilarious simply for the premise that Jimmy Stewart, of all people, has cold feet about marrying Grace fucking Kelly. Yes, sitting all alone in your tiny apartment with that camera is much more fun than getting it on with probably the most attractive woman of all time, Jimmy. Man, the 1950s were a great time to be a relatively undistinguished-looking man.
Of course, I spent the morning toggling back and forth between She's The Man, Jawbreaker, and First Daughter, so don't worry, I haven't gone all classy on you. I still put my diamond studded culottes on one leg at a time just like anybody else.
Having finished off most of the hilarious on-demand dating profiles (SassyGirl52, we hardly knew thee) and run out of enthusiasm for Maroon 5 Month on on-demand videos, I've lately been turning to the on-demand movies. Sure, some of the selection leaves something to desire (did we really need both The Mangler and The Mangler 2?), but there are also some real winners. Last week I watched On The Waterfront, which took me back to an era when dialogue still crackled and Marlon Brando still had a jawline. I also especially enjoyed Karl Malden's nose, which has never really been duplicated, even by Ashlee Simpson, in the entire history of cinema. And a few weeks ago I rewatched Rear Window, which is hilarious simply for the premise that Jimmy Stewart, of all people, has cold feet about marrying Grace fucking Kelly. Yes, sitting all alone in your tiny apartment with that camera is much more fun than getting it on with probably the most attractive woman of all time, Jimmy. Man, the 1950s were a great time to be a relatively undistinguished-looking man.
Of course, I spent the morning toggling back and forth between She's The Man, Jawbreaker, and First Daughter, so don't worry, I haven't gone all classy on you. I still put my diamond studded culottes on one leg at a time just like anybody else.
