Monday, November 19, 2007
Ways in Which I Have Nearly Died Lately
So the other day I was jammed into the door of a packed rush hour train, and I decided to step out onto the platform to make it easier for people to get off. Unfortunately for me, the people on the train also decided to make it easier for themselves to get off, namely by shoving me to the ground. I tipped straight over under the weight of my ginormous gym bag, sending my copy of Les Mis and my Harry Potter bookmark flying. I landed with my leg hanging in the gap between the train and the platform. Had the train car moved at that moment, I would have been down approximately one leg. Fortunately it did not, though, so I just suffered an acute case of crankypants. God, you can't imagine what that suffering's like.
And then today as I got into a cab after work, the driver of the cab behind us started freaking out and honking his horn. My first thought was that maybe there was a man with an axe in the back seat and this other cab driver was trying to warn us, but that proved to be every bit as wrong as the theory that pop rocks and Coke will make your stomach explode. Then I realized that this gentleman somehow felt slighted in my selection of a cab, perhaps thinking the choice of first in line a bit unoriginal. He expressed his disappointment by riding our bumper and honking for three blocks. Every day is a walking advertisement for Chicago Transit.
So the other day I was jammed into the door of a packed rush hour train, and I decided to step out onto the platform to make it easier for people to get off. Unfortunately for me, the people on the train also decided to make it easier for themselves to get off, namely by shoving me to the ground. I tipped straight over under the weight of my ginormous gym bag, sending my copy of Les Mis and my Harry Potter bookmark flying. I landed with my leg hanging in the gap between the train and the platform. Had the train car moved at that moment, I would have been down approximately one leg. Fortunately it did not, though, so I just suffered an acute case of crankypants. God, you can't imagine what that suffering's like.
And then today as I got into a cab after work, the driver of the cab behind us started freaking out and honking his horn. My first thought was that maybe there was a man with an axe in the back seat and this other cab driver was trying to warn us, but that proved to be every bit as wrong as the theory that pop rocks and Coke will make your stomach explode. Then I realized that this gentleman somehow felt slighted in my selection of a cab, perhaps thinking the choice of first in line a bit unoriginal. He expressed his disappointment by riding our bumper and honking for three blocks. Every day is a walking advertisement for Chicago Transit.
