Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Identity Crisis
Have you ever noticed how, as people age, they become increasingly concerned about having their identities stolen? Children, of course, care not a whit for their identities, and frequently announce that they must be referred to as Space Captain Zork or Hannah Montana for weeks at a time. College students are very concerned with fake IDs, but not so much the theft thereof. But then you reach people my parents' age and they're suddenly buying mini shredders to chop up their junk mail for fear someone will go through their trash and get a credit card in their name.
And then there's my grandmother. Last week she cheerfully announced that she had cut up her debit card into tiny pieces so as to avoid identity theft. My reminders that 1) the debit card thieves would also need her PIN number to do any serious damage and 2) that they would have to rob her at a rate of $1000 per day both fell on deaf ears. When asked how she would thereafter get money, she suggested that she would revert to her old method of cashing a check for a couple thousand every few months and keeping the proceeds in her underwear drawer. Because obviously that's far safer. I just thank God she hasn't yet gotten around to chopping up her social security card.
Have you ever noticed how, as people age, they become increasingly concerned about having their identities stolen? Children, of course, care not a whit for their identities, and frequently announce that they must be referred to as Space Captain Zork or Hannah Montana for weeks at a time. College students are very concerned with fake IDs, but not so much the theft thereof. But then you reach people my parents' age and they're suddenly buying mini shredders to chop up their junk mail for fear someone will go through their trash and get a credit card in their name.
And then there's my grandmother. Last week she cheerfully announced that she had cut up her debit card into tiny pieces so as to avoid identity theft. My reminders that 1) the debit card thieves would also need her PIN number to do any serious damage and 2) that they would have to rob her at a rate of $1000 per day both fell on deaf ears. When asked how she would thereafter get money, she suggested that she would revert to her old method of cashing a check for a couple thousand every few months and keeping the proceeds in her underwear drawer. Because obviously that's far safer. I just thank God she hasn't yet gotten around to chopping up her social security card.