Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Training Day
This morning on the Red Line I had the pleasure of being packed in right next to America's Most Corpulent, Angriest Man. His girth and heft were seriously so immense that the slightest shift in his body positioning sent me sprawling into a surprised (yet not delighted) onlooker's lap. But this was nothing compared to the pleasure of his conversation.
"No room in here; take the next train!" he shouted at the unwary passengers on the platform at Belmont.
"God damn it, God damn it, I'm going to be late!" he added, to no one in particular.
At Fullerton, we were briefly paused with an equipment problem. This immediately induced the loudest sighs I have ever heard.
"Oh great," he seethed. "Seemed like the train was running fine to me."
But the bulk of his witticisms were directed at misbegotten souls who attempted to squeeze into the space left on the train.
"Nope, no room," he shouted at one man who immediately proved him wrong by fitting into the car. "Geez, thanks for wearing a big packpack."
I resisted the urge to thank him for being fat enough to take the space of three.
This morning on the Red Line I had the pleasure of being packed in right next to America's Most Corpulent, Angriest Man. His girth and heft were seriously so immense that the slightest shift in his body positioning sent me sprawling into a surprised (yet not delighted) onlooker's lap. But this was nothing compared to the pleasure of his conversation.
"No room in here; take the next train!" he shouted at the unwary passengers on the platform at Belmont.
"God damn it, God damn it, I'm going to be late!" he added, to no one in particular.
At Fullerton, we were briefly paused with an equipment problem. This immediately induced the loudest sighs I have ever heard.
"Oh great," he seethed. "Seemed like the train was running fine to me."
But the bulk of his witticisms were directed at misbegotten souls who attempted to squeeze into the space left on the train.
"Nope, no room," he shouted at one man who immediately proved him wrong by fitting into the car. "Geez, thanks for wearing a big packpack."
I resisted the urge to thank him for being fat enough to take the space of three.
