Monday, February 04, 2008
Happy Birthday to Me
In honor of my 30th, I thought I'd highlight some of my greatest accomplishments from my first thirty years:
-- Playing George Washington in my second grade play (I got a cardboard horse).
-- Buying, and then never wearing, a hat that says "A little pussy never hurt anyone."
-- Completing the paint by number masterwork Puppy Climbing Over Log.
-- Buying Castlevania on amazon.com for $3.99.
-- Eating my weight in nachos.
-- Stumping the guess-your-weight guy at Six Flags.
-- Becoming a published Haiku poet against my will.
-- Inventing the world's first gin and vodka; vomiting.
-- Realizing Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse before everyone else did.
-- Recognizing that Thanksgiving, too, can be a slutty holiday.
-- Finding constant humor in public transportation.
-- Training the temp to actually answer my phone.
-- Using a lot of gerunds.
In honor of my 30th, I thought I'd highlight some of my greatest accomplishments from my first thirty years:
-- Playing George Washington in my second grade play (I got a cardboard horse).
-- Buying, and then never wearing, a hat that says "A little pussy never hurt anyone."
-- Completing the paint by number masterwork Puppy Climbing Over Log.
-- Buying Castlevania on amazon.com for $3.99.
-- Eating my weight in nachos.
-- Stumping the guess-your-weight guy at Six Flags.
-- Becoming a published Haiku poet against my will.
-- Inventing the world's first gin and vodka; vomiting.
-- Realizing Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse before everyone else did.
-- Recognizing that Thanksgiving, too, can be a slutty holiday.
-- Finding constant humor in public transportation.
-- Training the temp to actually answer my phone.
-- Using a lot of gerunds.
