Friday, May 16, 2008
Big Girls Don't Cry
Exciting news, America. Tyra has finally chosen a plus-sized model to represent us as America's Next Top Model. And what's even better is that she's totally hilarious and says the things we're all thinking about the other contestants, like "Fatima really just needs to eat something" and "apparently Lauren doesn't understand how to use a knife." There are actually rumors floating around the internet that Tyra actually took a thin girl and fattened her up for these purposes, but I tend to not believe them. Tyra's way too busy tormenting her talk show staff to do anything like that.
The even better news is that I have once again correctly selected the Top Model winner. Around the beginning of April I began privately predicting that Tyra would invite the full figured Whitney to "kiss her fat ass" as the next America's Next. Not due to any special talent on Whitney's part, but mainly just because they haven't had a bigger girl win yet, whereas freaky-looking blond gals have pretty much been a dime a dozen. It's just like when I selected Saleisha for the crown despite the fact that she had been saddled with an early '80s Tootie haircut.
But the best news of all is probably that I've finally managed to name-check a Fergie song in a blog title. I just wish it weren't so hard to make "Fergilicious" seem relevant.
Exciting news, America. Tyra has finally chosen a plus-sized model to represent us as America's Next Top Model. And what's even better is that she's totally hilarious and says the things we're all thinking about the other contestants, like "Fatima really just needs to eat something" and "apparently Lauren doesn't understand how to use a knife." There are actually rumors floating around the internet that Tyra actually took a thin girl and fattened her up for these purposes, but I tend to not believe them. Tyra's way too busy tormenting her talk show staff to do anything like that.
The even better news is that I have once again correctly selected the Top Model winner. Around the beginning of April I began privately predicting that Tyra would invite the full figured Whitney to "kiss her fat ass" as the next America's Next. Not due to any special talent on Whitney's part, but mainly just because they haven't had a bigger girl win yet, whereas freaky-looking blond gals have pretty much been a dime a dozen. It's just like when I selected Saleisha for the crown despite the fact that she had been saddled with an early '80s Tootie haircut.
But the best news of all is probably that I've finally managed to name-check a Fergie song in a blog title. I just wish it weren't so hard to make "Fergilicious" seem relevant.
