Wednesday, May 28, 2008
The Pain
I have been known to do the occasional bit of manscaping. It's not that I think there's anything wrong with being hairy per se, it's just that my body hair tends to come in a bit sparsely, which kind of makes me feel like I'm twelve and starting to notice some weird changes in my body. All of which is probably more information than you really needed.
But anyway, for some reason last night I decided that I would try Nair for Men. This was, without a doubt, one of the biggest mistakes I've made in my life, and I was on the math team in junior high. I should have known better the minute I opened the bottle and the smell of decaying ferrets jumped out. But no, I went ahead and applied liberally. And then the pain began. Within five minutes I was in the shower, sobbing lightly as my chest turned bright red and began crusting over. Essentially, I gave myself a chemical peel. And now I have a splotch in vaguely the shape of Mickey Mouse between my nipples.
Oh, and the whole time this was happening, Evan Almighty was playing on HBO. It's like God was out to get me personally.
I have been known to do the occasional bit of manscaping. It's not that I think there's anything wrong with being hairy per se, it's just that my body hair tends to come in a bit sparsely, which kind of makes me feel like I'm twelve and starting to notice some weird changes in my body. All of which is probably more information than you really needed.
But anyway, for some reason last night I decided that I would try Nair for Men. This was, without a doubt, one of the biggest mistakes I've made in my life, and I was on the math team in junior high. I should have known better the minute I opened the bottle and the smell of decaying ferrets jumped out. But no, I went ahead and applied liberally. And then the pain began. Within five minutes I was in the shower, sobbing lightly as my chest turned bright red and began crusting over. Essentially, I gave myself a chemical peel. And now I have a splotch in vaguely the shape of Mickey Mouse between my nipples.
Oh, and the whole time this was happening, Evan Almighty was playing on HBO. It's like God was out to get me personally.
