Friday, January 23, 2009
Life Decisions
For some reason I agreed to teach a Saturday school class this semester. So instead of following my usual habit of spending Saturday sleeping and watching whatever terrible movies happen to be on HBO (or sometimes even HBO Espanol), I'll be getting up at 7:30 and driving across town to teach a group of fifth grade miscreants about judicial process. To be fair, they will probably want to be there even less than I will, but somehow that doesn't do much to cheer me up.
I'm thinking perhaps I can turn my class into a cult that worships me as their charismatic leader. Or at the very least force them to do yard work. My driveway could certainly use clearing, and it probably wouldn't even take very long for a good sized group of eleven and twelve year olds. I imagine there are Bible verses somewhere that would justify the whole thing. When it comes to the Old Testament, pretty much anything goes.
They have lots of rules at this school. No one is allowed to talk in the hallways ever, and they raise a single fist in the air as a symbol for "quiet, please." Also no food or cell phones (or presumably edible cell phones) are allowed anywhere on the premises. Oh, and any form of joy whatsoever is strictly forbidden. These people mean business.
For some reason I agreed to teach a Saturday school class this semester. So instead of following my usual habit of spending Saturday sleeping and watching whatever terrible movies happen to be on HBO (or sometimes even HBO Espanol), I'll be getting up at 7:30 and driving across town to teach a group of fifth grade miscreants about judicial process. To be fair, they will probably want to be there even less than I will, but somehow that doesn't do much to cheer me up.
I'm thinking perhaps I can turn my class into a cult that worships me as their charismatic leader. Or at the very least force them to do yard work. My driveway could certainly use clearing, and it probably wouldn't even take very long for a good sized group of eleven and twelve year olds. I imagine there are Bible verses somewhere that would justify the whole thing. When it comes to the Old Testament, pretty much anything goes.
They have lots of rules at this school. No one is allowed to talk in the hallways ever, and they raise a single fist in the air as a symbol for "quiet, please." Also no food or cell phones (or presumably edible cell phones) are allowed anywhere on the premises. Oh, and any form of joy whatsoever is strictly forbidden. These people mean business.
