Monday, April 20, 2009
Rude Awakening
This morning I was awakened at 6:30 by a repairman leaning repeatedly on my front buzzer. As I had not scheduled a repairman, I was somewhat confused. Also perhaps because I had just been dreaming that I was best friends with Bea Arthur, but that's a story for another time. But anyway, as it turned out my visitor was not there for me at all, but rather for my upstairs neighbors, whose names in no way resemble my own where they are very clearly displayed on labels next to the buzzer. Not that I'm attempting to relitigate the issue; my guest very clearly laid out for me the strong moral imperative that underlay his decision to wake my ass up at the crack of dawn. That is, before he asked to use my bathroom. I thought about offering to make him breakfast as well, but since it was only our first date, I didn't want to seem too forward. My reputation is the greatest treasure I own.
So Mr. Fix It eventually found his way upstairs to his destination, and I tried in vain to go back to bed. Unfortunately, all the excitement of making a new friend had left me wide awake, and despite my desperate attempts to induce a coma by reading the lesser works of D.H. Lawrence, I remained sadly conscious. I decided just to have some Golden Grahams and head in to work earlier. It is a very rich life I lead, let me tell you. I am doing my best to forgive your jealousy.
This morning I was awakened at 6:30 by a repairman leaning repeatedly on my front buzzer. As I had not scheduled a repairman, I was somewhat confused. Also perhaps because I had just been dreaming that I was best friends with Bea Arthur, but that's a story for another time. But anyway, as it turned out my visitor was not there for me at all, but rather for my upstairs neighbors, whose names in no way resemble my own where they are very clearly displayed on labels next to the buzzer. Not that I'm attempting to relitigate the issue; my guest very clearly laid out for me the strong moral imperative that underlay his decision to wake my ass up at the crack of dawn. That is, before he asked to use my bathroom. I thought about offering to make him breakfast as well, but since it was only our first date, I didn't want to seem too forward. My reputation is the greatest treasure I own.
So Mr. Fix It eventually found his way upstairs to his destination, and I tried in vain to go back to bed. Unfortunately, all the excitement of making a new friend had left me wide awake, and despite my desperate attempts to induce a coma by reading the lesser works of D.H. Lawrence, I remained sadly conscious. I decided just to have some Golden Grahams and head in to work earlier. It is a very rich life I lead, let me tell you. I am doing my best to forgive your jealousy.
