Thursday, May 07, 2009
Liveblogging People's 100 Most Beautiful People Issue
Cover: Off to a great start with an inset photo of that dude from Twilight with his hair standing out from his head at right angles. Also, Bea Arthur should have picked a different week to die.
Pages 55-64: Seriously, Christina Applegate's publicist deserves a nice fruit basket. A cover and ten pages? I mean, yeah, she had cancer, but she's a fucking TV star. Bea Arthur DIED of cancer and she only got two pages.
Pages 66-78: This is People's special gift to America: Stars Without Makeup. Annalynne McCord looks like she's forty. Amanda Bynes looks like she ate Annalynne McCord. Who knew makeup makes you look thinner?
Pages 89-90: Barack's Beauties? Really? Michelle Obama is a fucking Harvard law graduate. With an overbite. And the picture of the White House speechwriter looks like a mug shot.
Page 92: Historical Hotties. The part that really annoys me is that People probably thinks it's all cool and cultural for including stupid features like this. Also, Mary Tudor looks like a bulldog.
Pages 94-105: The whole point of this section is that happiness makes people beautiful. Sure. That's really Megan Fox's appeal. She's beautiful on the inside.
Pages 106-107: Proving the shocking point that women don't have to turn into hags at 35. Of course, the photo array stops with Meryl Streep at age 59, so after that all bets are off.
Pages 109-116: Funny people are pretty! And yet Jimmy Fallon is their illustration of this principle. Apparently blind people with terrible senses of humor edit People magazine.
Pages 127-128: You have to give them mad props for choosing only two out of three of the Jonas Brothers. That weird-looking third one is going to have some serious issues.
Cover: Off to a great start with an inset photo of that dude from Twilight with his hair standing out from his head at right angles. Also, Bea Arthur should have picked a different week to die.
Pages 55-64: Seriously, Christina Applegate's publicist deserves a nice fruit basket. A cover and ten pages? I mean, yeah, she had cancer, but she's a fucking TV star. Bea Arthur DIED of cancer and she only got two pages.
Pages 66-78: This is People's special gift to America: Stars Without Makeup. Annalynne McCord looks like she's forty. Amanda Bynes looks like she ate Annalynne McCord. Who knew makeup makes you look thinner?
Pages 89-90: Barack's Beauties? Really? Michelle Obama is a fucking Harvard law graduate. With an overbite. And the picture of the White House speechwriter looks like a mug shot.
Page 92: Historical Hotties. The part that really annoys me is that People probably thinks it's all cool and cultural for including stupid features like this. Also, Mary Tudor looks like a bulldog.
Pages 94-105: The whole point of this section is that happiness makes people beautiful. Sure. That's really Megan Fox's appeal. She's beautiful on the inside.
Pages 106-107: Proving the shocking point that women don't have to turn into hags at 35. Of course, the photo array stops with Meryl Streep at age 59, so after that all bets are off.
Pages 109-116: Funny people are pretty! And yet Jimmy Fallon is their illustration of this principle. Apparently blind people with terrible senses of humor edit People magazine.
Pages 127-128: You have to give them mad props for choosing only two out of three of the Jonas Brothers. That weird-looking third one is going to have some serious issues.
